The History of Samuel Titmarsh

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Gus, who had never been in a prison before, and whose heart failed him as
the red-headed young Moses opened and shut for him the numerous iron
outer doors, was struck dumb to see me behind a bottle of claret, in a
room blazing with gilt lamps; the curtains were down too, and you could
not see the bars at the windows; and Mr. B., Mr. Lock the Brighton
officer, Mr. Aminadab, and another rich gentleman of his trade and
religious persuasion, were chirping as merrily, and looked as
respectably, as any noblemen in the land.

"Have him in," said Mr. B., "if he's a friend of Mr. Titmarsh's; for,
cuss me, I like to see a rogue: and run me through, Titmarsh, but I think
you are one of the best in London. You beat Brough; you do, by Jove! for
he looks like a rogue--anybody would swear to him; but you! by Jove, you
look the very picture of honesty!"

"A deep file," said Aminadab, winking and pointing me out to his friend
Mr. Jehoshaphat.

"A good one," says Jehoshaphat.

"In for three hundred thousand pound," says Aminadab: "Brough's right-
hand man, and only three-and-twenty."

"Mr. Titmarsh, sir, your 'ealth, sir," says Mr. Lock, in an ecstasy of
admiration. "Your very good 'earth, sir, and better luck to you next
time."

"Pooh, pooh! _he's_ all right," says Aminadab; "let _him_ alone."

"In for _what_?" shouted I, quite amazed. "Why, sir, you arrested me for
90_l_."

"Yes, but you are in for half a million,--you know you are. _Them_ debts
I don't count--them paltry tradesmen's accounts. I mean Brough's
business. It's an ugly one; but you'll get through it. We all know you;
and I lay my life that when you come through the court, Mrs. Titmarsh has
got a handsome thing laid by."

"Mrs. Titmarsh has a small property," says I. "What then?"

The three gentlemen burst into a loud laugh, said I was a "rum chap"--a
"downy cove," and made other remarks which I could not understand then;
but the meaning of which I have since comprehended, for they took me to
be a great rascal, I am sorry to say, and supposed that I had robbed the
I. W. D. Association, and, in order to make my money secure, settled it
on my wife.

It was in the midst of this conversation that, as I said, Gus came in;
and whew! when he saw what was going on, he gave _such_ a whistle!

"Herr von Joel, by Jove!" says Aminadab. At which all laughed.

"Sit down," says Mr. B.,--"sit down, and wet your whistle, my piper! I
say, egad! you're the piper that played before Moses! Had you there,
Dab. Dab, get a fresh bottle of Burgundy for Mr. Hoskins." And before
he knew where he was, there was Gus for the first time in his life
drinking Clos-Vougeot. Gus said he had never tasted Bergamy before, at
which the bailiff sneered, and told him the name of the wine.

"_Old Clo_! What?" says Gus; and we laughed: but the Hebrew gents did
not this time.

"Come, come, sir!" says Mr. Aminadab's friend, "ve're all shentlemen
here, and shentlemen never makish reflexunsh upon other gentlemen'sh
pershuashunsh."

After this feast was concluded, Gus and I retired to my room to consult
about my affairs. With regard to the responsibility incurred as a
shareholder in the West Diddlesex, I was not uneasy; for though the
matter might cause me a little trouble at first, I knew I was not a
shareholder; that the shares were scrip shares, making the dividend
payable to the bearer; and my aunt had called back her shares, and
consequently I was free. But it was very unpleasant to me to consider
that I was in debt nearly a hundred pounds to tradesmen, chiefly of Mrs.
Hoggarty's recommendation; and as she had promised to be answerable for
their bills, I determined to send her a letter reminding her of her
promise, and begging her at the same time to relieve me from Mr. Von
Stiltz's debt, for which I was arrested: and which was incurred not
certainly at her desire, but at Mr. Brough's; and would never have been
incurred by me but at the absolute demand of that gentleman.

I wrote to her, therefore, begging her to pay all these debts, and
promised myself on Monday morning again to be with my dear wife. Gus
carried off the letter, and promised to deliver it in Bernhard Street
after church-time; taking care that Mary should know nothing at all of
the painful situation in which I was placed. It was near midnight when
we parted, and I tried to sleep as well as I could in the dirty little
sofa-bedstead of Mr. Aminadab's back-parlour.

That morning was fine and sunshiny, and I heard all the bells ringing
cheerfully for church, and longed to be walking to the Foundling with my
wife: but there were the three iron doors between me and liberty, and I
had nothing for it but to read my prayers in my own room, and walk up and
down afterwards in the court at the back of the house. Would you believe
it? This very court was like a cage! Great iron bars covered it in from
one end to another; and here it was that Mr. Aminadab's gaol-birds took
the air.

They had seen me reading out of the prayer-book at the back-parlour
window, and all burst into a yell of laughter when I came to walk in the
cage. One of them shouted out "Amen!" when I appeared; another called me
a muff (which means, in the slang language, a very silly fellow); a third
wondered that I took to my prayer-book _yet_.

"When do you mean, sir?" says I to the fellow--a rough man, a
horse-dealer.

"Why, when you are going _to be hanged_, you young hypocrite!" says the
man. "But that is always the way with Brough's people," continued he. "I
had four greys once for him--a great bargain, but he would not go to look
at them at Tattersall's, nor speak a word of business about them, because
it was a Sunday."

"Because there are hypocrites," sir, says I, "religion is not to be
considered a bad thing; and if Mr. Brough would not deal with you on a
Sunday, he certainly did his duty."

The men only laughed the more at this rebuke, and evidently considered me
a great criminal. I was glad to be released from their society by the
appearance of Gus and Mr. Smithers. Both wore very long faces. They
were ushered into my room, and, without any orders of mine, a bottle of
wine and biscuits were brought in by Mr. Aminadab; which I really thought
was very kind of him.

"Drink a glass of wine, Mr. Titmarsh," says Smithers, "and read this
letter. A pretty note was that which you sent to your aunt this morning,
and here you have an answer to it."

I drank the wine, and trembled rather as I read as follows:--

"Sir,--If, because you knew I had desined to leave you my proparty,
you wished to murdar me, and so stepp into it, you are dissapointed.
Your _villiany_ and _ingratitude would_ have murdard me, had I not, by
Heaven's grace, been inabled to look for consalation _elsewhere_.

"For nearly a year I have been a _martar_ to you. I gave up
everything,--my happy home in the country, where all respected the
name of Hoggarty; my valuble furnitur and wines; my plate, glass, and
crockry; I brought all--all to make your home happy and rispectable. I
put up with the _airs and impertanencies_ of Mrs. Titmarsh; I loaded
her and you with presents and bennafits. I sacrafised myself; I gave
up the best sociaty in the land, to witch I have been accustomed, in
order to be a gardian and compannion to you, and prevent, if possible,
that _waist and ixtravygance_ which I _prophycied_ would be your ruin.
Such waist and ixtravygance never, never, never did I see. Buttar
waisted as if it had been dirt, coles flung away, candles burnt _at
both ends_, tea and meat the same. The butcher's bill in this house
was enough to support six famalies.

"And now you have the audassaty, being placed in prison justly for
your crimes,--for cheating me of 3,000_l_., for robbing your mother of
an insignificient summ, which to her, poor thing, was everything
(though she will not feel her loss as I do, being all her life next
door to a beggar), for incurring detts which you cannot pay, wherein
you knew that your miserable income was quite unable to support your
ixtravygance--you come upon me to pay your detts! No, sir, it is
quite enough that your mother should go on the parish, and that your
wife should sweep the streets, to which you have indeed brought them;
_I_, at least, though cheated by you of a large summ, and obliged to
pass my days in comparative ruin, can retire, and have some of the
comforts to which my rank entitles me. The furnitur in this house is
mine; and as I presume you intend _your lady_ to sleep in the streets,
I give you warning that I shall remove it all tomorrow.

"Mr. Smithers will tell you that I had intended to leave you my intire
fortune. I have this morning, in his presents, solamly toar up my
will; and hereby renounce all connection with you and your beggarly
family.

"SUSAN HOGGARTY.

"P.S.--I took a viper into my bosom, _and it stung me_."

I confess that, on the first reading of this letter, I was in such a fury
that I forgot almost the painful situation in which it plunged me, and
the ruin hanging over me.

"What a fool you were, Titmarsh, to write that letter!" said Mr.
Smithers. "You have cut your own throat, sir,--lost a fine
property,--written yourself out of five hundred a year. Mrs. Hoggarty,
my client, brought the will, as she says, downstairs, and flung it into
the fire before our faces."

"It's a blessing that your wife was from home," added Gus. "She went to
church this morning with Dr. Salt's family, and sent word that she would
spend the day with them. She was always glad to be away from Mrs. H.,
you know."

"She never knew on which side her bread was buttered," said Mr. Smithers.
"You should have taken the lady when she was in the humour, sir, and have
borrowed the money elsewhere. Why, sir, I had almost reconciled her to
her loss in that cursed Company. I showed her how I had saved out of
Brough's claws the whole of her remaining fortune; which he would have
devoured in a day, the scoundrel! And if you would have left the matter
to me, Mr. Titmarsh, I would have had you reconciled completely to Mrs.
Hoggarty; I would have removed all your difficulties; I would have lent
you the pitiful sum of money myself."

"Will you?" says Gus; "that's a trump!" and he seized Smithers's hand,
and squeezed it so that the tears came into the attorney's eyes.

"Generous fellow!" said I; "lend me money, when you know what a situation
I am in, and not able to pay!"

"Ay, my good sir, there's the rub!" says Mr. Smithers. "I said I _would_
have lent the money; and so to the acknowledged heir of Mrs. Hoggarty I
would--would at this moment; for nothing delights the heart of Bob
Smithers more than to do a kindness. I would have rejoiced in doing it;
and a mere acknowledgment from that respected lady would have amply
sufficed. But now, sir, the case is altered,--you have no security to
offer, as you justly observe."

"Not a whit, certainly."

"And without security, sir, of course can expect no money--of course not.
You are a man of the world, Mr. Titmarsh, and I see our notions exactly
agree."

"There's his wife's property," says Gus.

"Wife's property? Bah! Mrs. Sam Titmarsh is a minor, and can't touch a
shilling of it. No, no, no meddling with minors for me! But stop!--your
mother has a house and shop in our village. Get me a mortgage of that--"

"I'll do no such thing, sir," says I. "My mother has suffered quite
enough on my score already, and has my sisters to provide for; and I will
thank you, Mr. Smithers, not to breathe a syllable to her regarding my
present situation."

"You speak like a man of honour, sir," says Mr. Smithers, "and I will
obey your injunctions to the letter. I will do more, sir. I will
introduce you to a respectable firm here, my worthy friends, Messrs.
Higgs, Biggs, and Blatherwick, who will do everything in their power to
serve you. And so, sir, I wish you a very good morning."

And with this Mr. Smithers took his hat and left the room; and after a
further consultation with my aunt, as I heard afterwards, quitted London
that evening by the mail.

I sent my faithful Gus off once more to break the matter gently to my
wife, fearing lest Mrs. Hoggarty should speak of it abruptly to her; as I
knew in her anger she would do. But he came in an hour panting back, to
say that Mrs. H. had packed and locked her trunks, and had gone off in a
hackney-coach. So, knowing that my poor Mary was not to return till
night, Hoskins remained with me till then; and, after a dismal day, left
me once more at nine, to carry the dismal tidings to her.

At ten o'clock on that night there was a great rattling and ringing at
the outer door, and presently my poor girl fell into my arms; and Gus
Hoskins sat blubbering in a corner, as I tried my best to console her.

* * * * *

The next morning I was favoured with a visit from Mr. Blatherwick; who,
hearing from me that I had only three guineas in my pocket, told me very
plainly that lawyers only lived by fees. He recommended me to quit
Cursitor Street, as living there was very expensive. And as I was
sitting very sad, my wife made her appearance (it was with great
difficulty that she could be brought to leave me the night previous)--

"The horrible men came at four this morning," said she; "four hours
before light."

"What horrible men?" says I.

"Your aunt's men," said she, "to remove the furniture they had it all
packed before I came away. And I let them carry all," said she; "I was
too sad to look what was ours and what was not. That odious Mr. Wapshot
was with them; and I left him seeing the last waggon-load from the door.
I have only brought away your clothes," added she, "and a few of mine;
and some of the books you used to like to read; and some--some things I
have been getting for the--for the baby. The servants' wages were paid
up to Christmas; and I paid them the rest. And see! just as I was going
away, the post came, and brought to me my half-year's income--35_l_.,
dear Sam. Isn't it a blessing?"

"Will you pay my bill, Mr. What-d'ye-call-'im?" here cried Mr. Aminadab,
flinging open the door (he had been consulting with Mr. Blatherwick, I
suppose). "I want the room for _a gentleman_. I guess it's too dear for
the like of you." And here--will you believe it?--the man handed me a
bill of three guineas for two days' board and lodging in his odious
house.

* * * * *

There was a crowd of idlers round the door as I passed out of it, and had
I been alone I should have been ashamed of seeing them; but, as it was, I
was only thinking of my dear dear wife, who was leaning trustfully on my
arm, and smiling like heaven into my face--ay, and _took_ heaven, too,
into the Fleet prison with me--or an angel out of heaven. Ah! I had
loved her before, and happy it is to love when one is hopeful and young
in the midst of smiles and sunshine; but be _un_happy, and then see what
it is to be loved by a good woman! I declare before Heaven, that of all
the joys and happy moments it has given me, that was the crowning
one--that little ride, with my wife's cheek on my shoulder, down Holborn
to the prison! Do you think I cared for the bailiff that sat opposite?
No, by the Lord! I kissed her, and hugged her--yes, and cried with her
likewise. But before our ride was over her eyes dried up, and she
stepped blushing and happy out of the coach at the prison door, as if she
were a princess going to the Queen's Drawing-room.




CHAPTER XII


IN WHICH THE HERO'S AUNT'S DIAMOND MAKES ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE HERO'S
UNCLE

The failure of the great Diddlesex Association speedily became the theme
of all the newspapers, and every person concerned in it was soon held up
to public abhorrence as a rascal and a swindler. It was said that Brough
had gone off with a million of money. Even it was hinted that poor I had
sent a hundred thousand pounds to America, and only waited to pass
through the court in order to be a rich man for the rest of my days. This
opinion had some supporters in the prison; where, strange to say, it
procured me consideration--of which, as may be supposed, I was little
inclined to avail myself. Mr. Aminadab, however, in his frequent visits
to the Fleet, persisted in saying that I was a poor-spirited creature, a
mere tool in Brough's hands, and had not saved a shilling. Opinions,
however, differed; and I believe it was considered by the turnkeys that I
was a fellow of exquisite dissimulation, who had put on the appearance of
poverty in order more effectually to mislead the public.

Messrs. Abednego and Son were similarly held up to public odium: and, in
fact, what were the exact dealings of these gentlemen with Mr. Brough I
have never been able to learn. It was proved by the books that large
sums of money had been paid to Mr. Abednego by the Company; but he
produced documents signed by Mr. Brough, which made the latter and the
West Diddlesex Association his debtors to a still further amount. On the
day I went to the Bankruptcy Court to be examined, Mr. Abednego and the
two gentlemen from Houndsditch were present to swear to their debts, and
made a sad noise, and uttered a vast number of oaths in attestation of
their claim. But Messrs. Jackson and Paxton produced against them that
very Irish porter who was said to have been the cause of the fire, and, I
am told, hinted that they had matter for hanging the Jewish gents if they
persisted in their demand. On this they disappeared altogether, and no
more was ever heard of their losses. I am inclined to believe that our
Director had had money from Abednego--had given him shares as bonus and
security--had been suddenly obliged to redeem these shares with ready
money; and so had precipitated the ruin of himself and the concern. It
is needless to say here in what a multiplicity of companies Brough was
engaged. That in which poor Mr. Tidd invested his money did not pay
2_d_. in the pound; and that was the largest dividend paid by any of
them.

As for ours--ah! there was a pretty scene as I was brought from the Fleet
to the Bankruptcy Court, to give my testimony as late head clerk and
accountant of the West Diddlesex Association.

My poor wife, then very near her time, insisted upon accompanying me to
Basinghall Street; and so did my friend Gus Hoskins, that true and honest
fellow. If you had seen the crowd that was assembled, and the hubbub
that was made as I was brought up!

"Mr. Titmarsh," says the Commissioner as I came to the table, with a
peculiar sarcastic accent on the Tit--"Mr. Titmarsh, you were the
confidant of Mr. Brough, the principal clerk of Mr. Brough, and a
considerable shareholder in the Company?"

"Only a nominal one, sir," said I.

"Of course, only nominal," continued the Commissioner, turning to his
colleague with a sneer; "and a great comfort it must be to you, sir, to
think that you had a share in all the plun--the profits of the
speculation, and now can free yourself from the losses, by saying you are
only a nominal shareholder."

"The infernal villain!" shouted out a voice from the crowd. It was that
of the furious half-pay captain and late shareholder, Captain Sparr.

"Silence in the court there!" the Commissioner continued: and all this
while Mary was anxiously looking in his face, and then in mine, as pale
as death; while Gus, on the contrary, was as red as vermilion. "Mr.
Titmarsh, I have had the good fortune to see a list of your debts from
the Insolvent Court, and find that you are indebted to Mr. Stiltz, the
great tailor, in a handsome sum; to Mr. Polonius, the celebrated
jeweller, likewise; to fashionable milliners and dressmakers,
moreover;--and all this upon a salary of 200_l_. per annum. For so young
a gentleman it must be confessed you have employed your time well."

"Has this anything to do with the question, sir?" says I. "Am I here to
give an account of my private debts, or to speak as to what I know
regarding the affairs of the Company? As for my share in it, I have a
mother, sir, and many sisters--"

"The d-d scoundrel!" shouts the Captain.

"Silence that there fellow!" shouts Gus, as bold as brass; at which the
court burst out laughing, and this gave me courage to proceed.

"My mother, sir, four years since, having a legacy of 400_l_. left to
her, advised with her solicitor, Mr. Smithers, how she should dispose of
this sum; and as the Independent West Diddlesex was just then
established, the money was placed in an annuity in that office, where I
procured a clerkship. You may suppose me a very hardened criminal,
because I have ordered clothes of Mr. Von Stiltz; but you will hardly
fancy that I, a lad of nineteen, knew anything of the concerns of the
Company into whose service I entered as twentieth clerk, my own mother's
money paying, as it were, for my place. Well, sir, the interest offered
by the Company was so tempting, that a rich relative of mine was induced
to purchase a number of shares."

"Who induced your relative, if I may make so bold as to inquire?"

"I can't help owning, sir," says I, blushing, "that I wrote a letter
myself. But consider, my relative was sixty years old, and I was twenty-
one. My relative took several months to consider, and had the advice of
her lawyers before she acceded to my request. And I made it at the
instigation of Mr. Brough, who dictated the letter which I wrote, and who
I really thought then was as rich as Mr. Rothschild himself."

"Your friend placed her money in your name; and you, if I mistake not,
Mr. Titmarsh, were suddenly placed over the heads of twelve of your
fellow-clerks as a reward for your service in obtaining it?"

"It is very true, sir,"--and, as I confessed it, poor Mary began to wipe
her eyes, and Gus's ears (I could not see his face) looked like two red-
hot muffins--"it's quite true, sir; and, as matters have turned out, I am
heartily sorry for what I did. But at the time I thought I could serve
my aunt as well as myself; and you must remember, then, how high our
shares were."

"Well, sir, having procured this sum of money, you were straightway taken
into Mr. Brough's confidence. You were received into his house, and from
third clerk speedily became head clerk; in which post you were found at
the disappearance of your worthy patron!"

"Sir, you have no right to question me, to be sure; but here are a
hundred of our shareholders, and I'm not unwilling to make a clean breast
of it," said I, pressing Mary's hand. "I certainly was the head clerk.
And why? Because the other gents left the office. I certainly was
received into Mr. Brough's house. And why? Because, sir, my aunt _had
more money to lay out_. I see it all clearly now, though I could not
understand it then; and the proof that Mr. Brough wanted my aunt's money,
and not me, is that, when she came to town, our Director carried her by
force out of my house to Fulham, and never so much as thought of asking
me or my wife thither. Ay, sir, and he would have had her remaining
money, had not her lawyer from the country prevented her disposing of it.
Before the concern finally broke, and as soon as she heard there was
doubt concerning it, she took back her shares--scrip shares they were,
sir, as you know--and has disposed of them as she thought fit. Here,
sir, and gents," says I, "you have the whole of the history as far as
regards me. In order to get her only son a means of livelihood, my
mother placed her little money with the Company--it is lost. My aunt
invested larger sums with it, which were to have been mine one day, and
they are lost too; and here am I, at the end of four years, a disgraced
and ruined man. Is there anyone present, however much he has suffered by
the failure of the Company, that has had worse fortune through it than
I?"

"Mr. Titmarsh," says Mr. Commissioner, in a much more friendly way, and
at the same time casting a glance at a newspaper reporter that was
sitting hard by, "your story is not likely to get into the newspapers;
for, as you say, it is a private affair, which you had no need to speak
of unless you thought proper, and may be considered as a confidential
conversation between us and the other gentlemen here. But if it _could_
be made public, it might do some good, and warn people, if they _will_ be
warned, against the folly of such enterprises as that in which you have
been engaged. It is quite clear from your story, that you have been
deceived as grossly as anyone of the persons present. But look you, sir,
if you had not been so eager after gain, I think you would not have
allowed yourself to be deceived, and would have kept your relative's
money, and inherited it, according to your story, one day or other.
Directly people expect to make a large interest, their judgment seems to
desert them; and because they wish for profit, they think they are sure
of it, and disregard all warnings and all prudence. Besides the hundreds
of honest families who have been ruined by merely placing confidence in
this Association of yours, and who deserve the heartiest pity, there are
hundreds more who have embarked in it, like yourself, not for investment,
but for speculation; and these, upon my word, deserve the fate they have
met with. As long as dividends are paid, no questions are asked; and Mr.
Brough might have taken the money for his shareholders on the high-road,
and they would have pocketed it, and not been too curious. But what's
the use of talking?" says Mr. Commissioner, in a passion: "here is one
rogue detected, and a thousand dupes made; and if another swindler starts
to-morrow, there will be a thousand more of his victims round this table
a year hence; and so, I suppose, to the end. And now let's go to
business, gentlemen, and excuse this sermon."