Letters to His Son, 1759 to 1765

T >> The Earl of Chesterfield >> Letters to His Son, 1759 to 1765

LETTERS TO HIS SON
1759-65

By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD

on the Fine Art of becoming a

MAN OF THE WORLD

and a

GENTLEMAN



LETTER CCXXXVII

LONDON, New-year's Day, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: 'Molti e felici', and I have done upon that subject, one
truth being fair, upon the most lying day in the whole year.

I have now before me your last letter of the 21st December, which I am
glad to find is a bill of health: but, however, do not presume too much
upon it, but obey and honor your physician, "that thy days may be long in
the land."

Since my last, I have heard nothing more concerning the ribband; but I
take it for granted it will be disposed of soon. By the way, upon
reflection, I am not sure that anybody but a knight can, according to
form, be employed to make a knight. I remember that Sir Clement Cotterel
was sent to Holland, to dub the late Prince of Orange, only because he
was a knight himself; and I know that the proxies of knights, who cannot
attend their own installations, must always be knights. This did not
occur to me before, and perhaps will not to the person who was to
recommend you: I am sure I will not stir it; and I only mention it now,
that you may be in all events prepared for the disappointment, if it
should happen.

G-----is exceedingly flattered with your account, that three thousand of
his countrymen; all as little as himself, should be thought a sufficient
guard upon three-and-twenty thousand of all the nations in Europe; not
that he thinks himself, by any means, a little man, for when he would
describe a tall handsome man, he raises himself up at least half an inch
to represent him.

The private news from Hamburg is, that his Majesty's Resident there is
woundily in love with Madame-------; if this be true, God send him,
rather than her, a good DELIVERY! She must be 'etrennee' at this season,
and therefore I think you should be so too: so draw upon me as soon as
you please, for one hundred pounds.

Here is nothing new, except the unanimity with which the parliament gives
away a dozen of millions sterling; and the unanimity of the public is as
great in approving of it, which has stifled the usual political and
polemical argumentations.

Cardinal Bernis's disgrace is as sudden, and hitherto as little
understood, as his elevation was. I have seen his poems, printed at
Paris, not by a friend, I dare say; and to judge by them, I humbly
conceive his Eminency is a p-----y. I will say nothing of that excellent
headpiece that made him and unmade him in the same month, except O KING,
LIVE FOREVER.

Good-night to you, whoever you pass it with.




LETTER CCXXXVIII

LONDON, February 2, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: I am now (what I have very seldom been) two letters in
your debt: the reason was, that my head, like many other heads, has
frequently taken a wrong turn; in which case, writing is painful to me,
and therefore cannot be very pleasant to my readers.

I wish you would (while you have so good an opportunity as you have at
Hamburg) make yourself perfectly master of that dull but very useful
knowledge, the course of exchange, and the causes of its almost perpetual
variations; the value and relation of different coins, the specie, the
banco, usances, agio, and a thousand other particulars. You may with ease
learn, and you will be very glad when you have learned them; for, in your
business, that sort of knowledge will often prove necessary.

I hear nothing more of Prince Ferdinand's garter: that he will have one
is very certain; but when, I believe, is very uncertain; all the other
postulants wanting to be dubbed at the same time, which cannot be, as
there is not ribband enough for them.

If the Russians move in time, and in earnest, there will be an end of our
hopes and of our armies in Germany: three such mill-stones as Russia,
France, and Austria, must, sooner or later, in the course of the year,
grind his Prussian Majesty down to a mere MARGRAVE of Brandenburg. But I
have always some hopes of a change under a 'Gunarchy'--[Derived from the
Greek word 'Iuvn' a woman, and means female government]--where whim and
humor commonly prevail, reason very seldom, and then only by a lucky
mistake.

I expect the incomparable fair one of Hamburg, that prodigy of beauty,
and paragon of good sense, who has enslaved your mind, and inflamed your
heart. If she is as well 'etrennee' as you say she shall, you will be
soon out of her chains; for I have, by long experience, found women to be
like Telephus's spear, if one end kills, the other cures.

There never was so quiet, nor so silent a session of parliament as the
present; Mr. Pitt declares only what he would have them do, and they do
it 'nemine contradicente', Mr. Viner only expected.

Duchess Hamilton is to be married, to-morrow, to Colonel Campbell, the
son of General Campbell, who will some day or other be Duke of Argyle,
and have the estate. She refused the Duke of B-----r for him.

Here is a report, but I believe a very groundless one, that your old
acquaintance, the fair Madame C------e, is run away from her husband,
with a jeweler, that 'etrennes' her, and is come over here; but I dare
say it is some mistake, or perhaps a lie. Adieu! God bless you!




LETTER CCXXXIX

LONDON, February 27, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: In your last letter, of the 7th, you accuse me, most
unjustly, of being in arrears in my correspondence; whereas, if our
epistolary accounts were fairly liquidated, I believe you would be
brought in considerably debtor. I do not see how any of my letters to you
can miscarry, unless your office-packet miscarries too, for I always send
them to the office. Moreover, I might have a justifiable excuse for
writing to you seldomer than usual, for to be sure there never was a
period of time, in the middle of a winter, and the parliament sitting,
that supplied so little matter for a letter. Near twelve millions have
been granted this year, not only 'nemine contradicente', but, 'nemine
quicquid dicente'. The proper officers bring in the estimates; it is
taken for granted that they are necessary and frugal; the members go to
dinner; and leave Mr. West and Mr. Martin to do the rest.

I presume you have seen the little poem of the "Country Lass," by Soame
Jenyns, for it was in the "Chronicle"; as was also an answer to it, from
the "Monitor." They are neither of them bad performances; the first is
the neatest, and the plan of the second has the most invention. I send
you none of those 'pieces volantes' in my letters, because they are all
printed in one or other of the newspapers, particularly in the
"Chronicles"; and I suppose that you and others have all those papers
among you at Hamburg; in which case it would be only putting you to the
unnecessary expense of double postage.

I find you are sanguine about the King of Prussia this year; I allow his
army will be what you say; but what will that be 'vis-a-vis' French,
Austrians, Imperialists, Swedes, and Russians, who must amount to more
than double that number? Were the inequality less, I would allow for the
King of Prussia's being so much 'ipse agmen' as pretty nearly to balance
the account. In war, numbers are generally my omens; and, I confess, that
in Germany they seem not happy ones this year. In America. I think, we
are sure of success, and great success; but how we shall be able to
strike a balance, as they call it, between good success there, and ill
success upon the continent, so as to come at a peace; is more than I can
discover.

Lady Chesterfield makes you her compliments, and thanks you for your
offer; but declines troubling you, being discouraged by the ill success
of Madame Munchausen's and Miss Chetwynd's commissions, the former for
beef, and the latter for gloves; neither of which have yet been executed,
to the dissatisfaction of both. Adieu.




LETTER CCXL

LONDON, March 16, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: I have now your letter of the 20th past lying before me,
by which you despond, in my opinion too soon, of dubbing your Prince; for
he most certainly will have the Garter; and he will as probably have it
before the campaign opens, as after. His campaign must, I doubt, at best
be a defensive one; and he will show great skill in making it such; for
according to my calculation, his enemies will be at least double his
number. Their troops, indeed, may perhaps be worse than his; but then
their number will make up that defect, as it will enable them to
undertake different operations at the same time. I cannot think that the
King of Denmark will take a part in the present war; which he cannot do
without great possible danger; and he is well paid by France for his
neutrality; is safe, let what will turn out; and, in the meantime,
carries on his commerce with great advantage and security; so that that
consideration will not retard your visit to your own country, whenever
you have leave to return, and that your own ARRANGEMENTS will allow you.
A short absence animates a tender passion, 'et l'on ne recule que pour
mieux sauter', especially in the summer months; so that I would advise
you to begin your journey in May, and continue your absence from the dear
object of your vows till after the dog-days, when love is said to be
unwholesome. We have been disappointed at Martinico; I wish we may not be
so at Guadaloupe, though we are landed there; for many difficulties must
be got over before we can be in possession of the whole island. A pro pos
de bottes; you make use of two Spanish words, very properly, in your
letter; were I you, I would learn the Spanish language, if there were a
Spaniard at Hamburg who could teach me; and then you would be master of
all the European languages that are useful; and, in my mind, it is very
convenient, if not necessary, for a public man to understand them all,
and not to be obliged to have recourse to an interpreter for those papers
that chance or business may throw in his way. I learned Spanish when I
was older than you; convinced by experience that, in everything possible,
it was better to trust to one's self than to any other body whatsoever.
Interpreters, as well as relaters, are often unfaithful, and still
oftener incorrect, puzzling, and blundering. In short, let it be your
maxim through life to know all you can know, yourself; and never to trust
implicitly to the informations of others. This rule has been of infinite
service to me in the course of my life.

I am rather better than I was; which I owe not to my physicians, but to
an ass and a cow, who nourish me, between them, very plentifully and
wholesomely; in the morning the ass is my nurse, at night the cow; and I
have just now, bought a milch-goat, which is to graze, and nurse me at
Blackheath. I do not know what may come of this latter, and I am not
without apprehensions that it may make a satyr of me; but, should I find
that obscene disposition growing upon me, I will check it in time, for
fear of endangering my life and character by rapes. And so we heartily
bid you farewell.




LETTER CCXLI

LONDON, March 30, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: I do not like these frequent, however short, returns of
your illness; for I doubt they imply either want of skill in your
physician, or want of care in his patient. Rhubarb, soap, and chalybeate
medicines and waters, are almost always specifics for obstructions of the
liver; but then a very exact regimen is necessary, and that for a long
continuance. Acids are good for you, but you do not love them; and sweet
things are bad for you, and you do love them. There is another thing very
bad for you, and I fear you love it too much. When I was in Holland, I
had a slow fever that hung upon me a great while; I consulted Boerhaave,
who prescribed me what I suppose was proper, for it cured me; but he
added, by way of postscript to his prescription, 'Venus rarius colatur';
which I observed, and perhaps that made the medicines more effectual.

I doubt we shall be mutually disappointed in our hopes of seeing one
another this spring, as I believe you will find, by a letter which you
will receive at the same time with this, from Lord Holderness; but as
Lord Holderness will not tell you all, I will, between you and me, supply
that defect. I must do him the justice to say that he has acted in the
most kind and friendly manner possible to us both. When the King read
your letter, in which you desired leave to return, for the sake of
drinking the Tunbridge waters, he said, "If he wants steel waters, those
of Pyrmont are better than Tunbridge, and he can have them very fresh at
Hamburg. I would rather he had asked me to come last autumn, and had
passed the winter here; for if he returns now, I shall have nobody in
those quarters to inform me of what passes; and yet it will be a very
busy and important scene." Lord Holderness, who found that it would not
be liked, resolved to push it no further; and replied, he was very sure
that when you knew his Majesty had the least objection to your return at
this time, you would think of it no longer; and he owned that he (Lord
Holderness) had given you encouragement for this application last year,
then thinking and hoping that there would be little occasion for your
presence at Hamburg this year. Lord Holderness will only tell you, in his
letter, that, as he had some reason to believe his moving this matter
would be disagreeable to the King, he resolved, for your sake, not to
mention it. You must answer his letter upon that footing simply, and
thank him for this mark of his friendship, for he has really acted as
your friend. I make no doubt of your having willing leave to return in
autumn, for the whole winter. In the meantime, make the best of your
'sejour' where you are; drink the Pyrmont waters, and no wine but
Rhenish, which, in your case is the only proper one for you.

Next week Mr. Harte will send you his "Gustavus Adolphus," in two
quartos; it will contain many new particulars of the life of that real
hero, as he has had abundant and authentic materials, which have never
yet appeared. It will, upon the whole, be a very curious and valuable
history; though, between you and me, I could have wished that he had been
more correct and elegant in his style. You will find it dedicated to one
of your acquaintance, who was forced to prune the luxuriant praises
bestowed upon him, and yet has left enough of all conscience to satisfy a
reasonable man. Harte has been very much out of order these last three or
four months, but is not the less intent upon sowing his lucerne, of which
he had six crops last year, to his infinite joy, and, as he says, profit.
As a gardener, I shall probably have as much joy, though not quite so
much profit, by thirty or forty shillings; for there is the greatest
promise of fruit this year at 'Blackheath, that ever I saw in my life.
Vertumnus and Pomona have been very propitious to me: as for Priapus,
that tremendous garden god, as I no longer invoke him, I cannot expect
his protection from the birds and the thieves.

Adieu! I will conclude like a pedant, 'Levius fit patientia quicquid
corrigere est nefas.'




LETTER CCXLII

LONDON, April 16, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: With humble submission to you, I still say that if Prince
Ferdinand can make a defensive campaign this year, he will have done a
great deal, considering the great inequality of numbers. The little
advantages of taking a regiment or two prisoners, or cutting another to
pieces, are but trifling articles in the great account; they are only the
pence, the pounds are yet to come; and I take it for granted, that
neither the French, nor the Court of Vienna, will have 'le dementi' of
their main object, which is unquestionably Hanover; for that is the
'summa summarum'; and they will certainly take care to draw a force
together for this purpose, too great for any that Prince Ferdinand has,
or can have, to oppose them. In short, mark the end on't, 'j'en augure
mal'. If France, Austria, the Empire, Russia, and Sweden, are not, at
long run, too hard for the two Electors of Hanover and Brandenburg, there
must be some invisible power, some tutelar deities, that miraculously
interpose in favor of the latter.

You encourage me to accept all the powers that goats, asses, and bulls,
can give me, by engaging for my not making an ill use of them; but I own,
I cannot help distrusting myself a little, or rather human nature; for it
is an old and very true observation, that there are misers of money, but
none of power; and the non-use of the one, and the abuse of the other,
increase in proportion to their quantity.

I am very sorry to tell you that Harte's "Gustavus Adolphus" does not
take at all, and consequently sells very little: it is certainly
informing, and full of good matter; but it is as certain too, that the
style is execrable: where the devil he picked it up, I cannot conceive,
for it is a bad style, of a new and singular kind; it is full of
Latinisms, Gallicisms, Germanisms, and all isms but Anglicisms; in some
places pompous, in others vulgar and low. Surely, before the end of the
world, people, and you in particular, will discover that the MANNER, in
everything, is at least as important as the matter; and that the latter
never can please, without a good degree of elegance in the former. This
holds true in everything in life: in writing, conversing, business, the
help of the Graces is absolutely necessary; and whoever vainly thinks
himself above them, will find he is mistaken when it will be too late to
court them, for they will not come to strangers of an advanced age. There
is an history lately come out, of the "Reign of Mary Queen of Scots" and
her son (no matter by whom) King James, written by one Robertson, a
Scotchman, which for clearness, purity, and dignity of style, I will not
scruple to compare with the best historians extant, not excepting Davila,
Guicciardini, and perhaps Livy. Its success has consequently been great,
and a second edition is already published and bought up. I take it for
granted, that it is to be had, or at least borrowed, at Hamburg, or I
would send it to you.

I hope you drink the Pyrmont waters every morning. The health of the mind
depends so much upon the health of the body, that the latter deserves the
utmost attention, independently of the senses. God send you a very great
share of both! Adieu.




LETTER CCXLIII

LONDON, April 27, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: I have received your two letters of the 10th and 13th, by
the last mail; and I will begin my answer to them, by observing to you
that a wise man, without being a Stoic, considers, in all misfortunes
that befall him, their best as well as their worst side; and everything
has a better and a worse side. I have strictly observed that rule for
many years, and have found by experience that some comfort is to be
extracted, under most moral ills, by considering them in every light,
instead of dwelling, as people are too apt to do, upon the gloomy side of
the object. Thank God, the disappointment that you so pathetically groan
under, is not a calamity which admits of no consolation. Let us simplify
it, and see what it amounts to. You are pleased with the expectation of
coming here next month, to see those who would have been pleased with
seeing you. That, from very natural causes, cannot be, and you must pass
this summer at Hamburg, and next winter in England, instead of passing
this summer in England, and next winter at Hamburg. Now, estimating
things fairly, is not the change rather to your advantage? Is not the
summer more eligible, both for health and pleasure, than the winter, in
that northern frozen zone? And will not the winter in England supply you
with more pleasures than the summer, in an empty capital, could have
done? So far then it appears, that you are rather a gainer by your
misfortune.

The TOUR too, which you propose making to Lubeck, Altena, etc., will both
amuse and inform you; for, at your age, one cannot see too many different
places and people; since at the age you are now of, I take it for granted
that you will not see them superficially, as you did when you first went
abroad.

This whole matter then, summed up, amounts to no more than this--that you
will be here next winter, instead of this summer. Do not think that all I
have said is the consolation only of an old philosophical fellow, almost
insensible of pleasure or pain, offered to a young fellow who has quick
sensations of both. No, it is the rational philosophy taught me by
experience and knowledge of the world, and which I have practiced above
thirty years.

I always made the best of the best, and never made bad worse by fretting;
this enabled me to go through the various scenes of life in which I have
been an actor, with more pleasure and less pain than most people. You
will say, perhaps, one cannot change one's nature; and that if a person
is born of a very sensible, gloomy temper, and apt to see things in the
worst light, they cannot help it, nor new-make themselves. I will admit
it, to a certain degree; and but to a certain degree; for though we
cannot totally change our nature, we may in a great measure correct it,
by reflection and philosophy; and some philosophy is a very necessary
companion in this world, where, even to the most fortunate, the chances
are greatly against happiness.

I am not old enough, nor tenacious enough, to pretend not to understand
the main purport of your last letter; and to show you that I do, you may
draw upon me for two hundred pounds, which, I hope, will more than clear
you.

Good-night: 'aquam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem': Be neither
transported nor depressed by the accidents of life.




LETTER CCXLIV

BLACKHEATH, May 16, 1759

MY DEAR FRIEND: Your secretary's last letter of the 4th, which I received
yesterday, has quieted my fears a good deal, but has not entirely
dissipated them. YOUR FEVER STILL CONTINUES, he says, THOUGH IN A LESS
DEGREE. Is it a continued fever, or an intermitting one? If the former,
no wonder that you are weak, and that your head aches. If the latter, why
has not the bark, in substance and large doses, been administered? for if
it had, it must have stopped it by this time. Next post, I hope, will set
me quite at ease. Surely you have not been so regular as you ought,
either in your medicines or in your general regimen, otherwise this fever
would not have returned; for the Doctor calls it, YOUR FEVER RETURNED, as
if you had an exclusive patent for it. You have now had illnesses enough,
to know the value of health, and to make you implicitly follow the
prescriptions of your physician in medicines, and the rules of your own
common sense in diet; in which, I can assure you, from my own experience,
that quantity is often worse than quality; and I would rather eat half a
pound of bacon at a meal, than two pounds of any the most wholesome food.

I have been settled here near a week, to my great satisfaction; 'c'est ma
place', and I know it, which is not given to everybody. Cut off from
social life by my deafness, as well as other physical ills, and being at
best but the ghost of my former self, I walk here in silence and solitude
as becomes a ghost: with this only difference, that I walk by day,
whereas, you know, to be sure, that other ghosts only appear by night. My
health, however, is better than it was last year, thanks to my almost
total milk diet. This enables me to vary my solitary amusements, and
alternately to scribble as well as read, which I could not do last year.
Thus I saunter away the remainder, be it more or less, of an agitated and
active life, now reduced (and I am not sure that I am a loser by the
change) to so quiet and serene a one, that it may properly be called
still life.

The French whisper in confidence, in order that it may be the more known
and the more credited, that they intend to invade us this year, in no
less than three places; that is England, Scotland, and Ireland. Some of
our great men, like the devils, believe and tremble; others, and one
little one whom I know, laugh at it; and, in general, it seems to be but
a poor, instead of a formidable scarecrow. While somebody was at the head
of a moderate army, and wanted (I know why) to be at the head of a great
one, intended invasions were made an article of political faith; and the
belief of them was required, as in the Church the belief of some
absurdities, and even impossibilities, is required upon pain of heresy,
excommunication, and consequently damnation, if they tend to the power
and interest of the heads of the Church. But now that there is a general
toleration, and that the best subjects, as well as the best Christians,
may believe what their reasons find their consciences suggest, it is
generally and rationally supposed the French will threaten and not
strike, since we are so well prepared, both by armies and fleets, to
receive and, I may add, to destroy them. Adieu! God bless you.




LETTER CCXLV

BLACKHEATH, June 15, 1759