Letters to His Son, 1753 to 1754

T >> The Earl of Chesterfield >> Letters to His Son, 1753 to 1754





LETTER CLXXXIX

BATH, October 19, 1753

MY DEAR FRIEND: Of all the various ingredients that compose the useful
and necessary art of pleasing, no one is so effectual and engaging as
that gentleness, that 'douceur' of countenance and manner, to which you
are no stranger, though (God knows why) a sworn enemy. Other people take
great pains to conceal or disguise their natural imperfections; some by
the make of their clothes and other arts, endeavor to conceal the defects
of their shape; women, who unfortunately have natural bad complexions,
lay on good ones; and both men and women upon whom unkind nature has
inflicted a surliness and ferocity of countenance, do at least all they
can, though often without success, to soften and mitigate it; they affect
'douceur', and aim at smiles, though often in the attempt, like the Devil
in Milton, they GRIN HORRIBLY A GHASTLY SMILE. But you are the only
person I ever knew in the whole course of my life, who not only disdain,
but absolutely reject and disguise a great advantage that nature has
kindly granted. You easily guess I mean COUNTENANCE; for she has given
you a very pleasing one; but you beg to be excused, you will not accept
it; but on the contrary, take singular pains to put on the most
'funeste', forbidding, and unpleasing one that can possibly be imagined.
This one would think impossible; but you know it to be true. If you
imagine that it gives you a manly, thoughtful, and decisive air, as some,
though very few of your countrymen do, you are most exceedingly mistaken;
for it is at best the air of a German corporal, part of whose exercise is
to look fierce, and to 'blasemeer-op'. You will say, perhaps, What, am I
always to be studying my countenance, in order to wear this 'douceur'? I
answer, No; do it but for a fortnight, and you never will have occasion
to think of it more. Take but half the pains to recover the countenance
that nature gave you, that you must have taken to disguise and deform it
as you have, and the business will be done. Accustom your eyes to a
certain softness, of which they are very capable, and your face to
smiles, which become it more than most faces I know. Give all your
motions, too, an air of 'douceur', which is directly the reverse of their
present celerity and rapidity. I wish you would adopt a little of 'l'air
du Couvent' (you very well know what I mean) to a certain degree; it has
something extremely engaging; there is a mixture of benevolence,
affection, and unction in it; it is frequently really sincere, but is
almost always thought so, and consequently pleasing. Will you call this
trouble? It will not be half an hour's trouble to you in a week's time.
But suppose it be, pray tell me, why did you give yourself the trouble of
learning to dance so well as you do? It is neither a religious, moral, or
civil duty. You must own, that you did it then singly to please, and you
were, in the right on't. Why do you wear fine clothes, and curl your
hair? Both are troublesome; lank locks, and plain flimsy rags are much
easier. This then you also do in order to please, and you do very right.
But then, for God's sake, reason and act consequentially; and endeavor to
please in other things too, still more essential; and without which the
trouble you have taken in those is wholly thrown away. You show your
dancing, perhaps six times a year, at most; but you show your countenance
and your common motions every day, and all day. Which then, I appeal to
yourself, ought you to think of the most, and care to render easy,
graceful, and engaging? Douceur of countenance and gesture can alone make
them so. You are by no means ill-natured; and would you then most
unjustly be reckoned so? Yet your common countenance intimates, and would
make anybody who did not know you, believe it. 'A propos' of this, I must
tell you what was said the other day to a fine lady whom you know, who is
very good-natured in truth, but whose common countenance implies
ill-nature, even to brutality. It was Miss H----n, Lady M--y's niece,
whom you have seen both at Blackheath and at Lady Hervey's. Lady M--y was
saying to me that you had a very engaging countenance when you had a mind
to it, but that you had not always that mind; upon which Miss H----n
said, that she liked your countenance best, when it was as glum as her
own. Why then, replied Lady M--y, you two should marry; for while you
both wear your worst countenances, nobody else will venture upon either
of you; and they call her now Mrs. Stanhope. To complete this 'douceur'
of countenance and motions, which I so earnestly recommend to you, you
should carry it also to your expressions and manner of thinking, 'mettez
y toujours de l'affectueux de l'onction'; take the gentle, the favorable,
the indulgent side of most questions. I own that the manly and sublime
John Trott, your countryman, seldom does; but, to show his spirit and
decision, takes the rough and harsh side, which he generally adorns with
an oath, to seem more formidable. This he only thinks fine; for to do
John justice, he is commonly as good-natured as anybody. These are among
the many little things which you have not, and I have, lived long enough
in the world to know of what infinite consequence they are in the course
of life. Reason then, I repeat it again, within yourself,
CONSEQUENTIALLY; and let not the pains you have taken, and still take, to
please in some things be a 'pure perte', by your negligence of, and
inattention to others of much less trouble, and much more consequence.

I have been of late much engaged, or rather bewildered, in Oriental
history, particularly that of the Jews, since the destruction of their
temple, and their dispersion by Titus; but the confusion and uncertainty
of the whole, and the monstrous extravagances and falsehoods of the
greatest part of it, disgusted me extremely. Their Talmud, their Mischna,
their Targums, and other traditions and writings of their Rabbins and
Doctors, who were most of them Cabalists, are really more extravagant and
absurd, if possible, than all that you have read in Comte de Gabalis; and
indeed most of his stuff is taken from them. Take this sample of their
nonsense, which is transmitted in the writings of one of their most
considerable Rabbins: "One Abas Saul, a man of ten feet high, was digging
a grave, and happened to find the eye of Goliah, in which he thought
proper to bury himself, and so he did, all but his head, which the
Giant's eye was unfortunately not quite deep enough to receive." This, I
assure you, is the most modest lie of ten thousand. I have also read the
Turkish history which, excepting the religious part, is not fabulous,
though very possibly not true. For the Turks, having no notion of letters
and being, even by their religion, forbid the use of them, except for
reading and transcribing the Koran, they have no historians of their own,
nor any authentic records nor memorials for other historians to work
upon; so that what histories we have of that country are written by
foreigners; as Platina, Sir Paul Rycaut, Prince Cantimer, etc., or else
snatches only of particular and short periods, by some who happened to
reside there at those times; such as Busbequius, whom I have just
finished. I like him, as far as he goes, much the best of any of them:
but then his account is, properly, only an account of his own Embassy,
from the Emperor Charles the Fifth to Solyman the Magnificent. However,
there he gives, episodically, the best account I know of the customs and
manners of the Turks, and of the nature of that government, which is a
most extraordinary one. For, despotic as it always seems, and sometimes
is, it is in truth a military republic, and the real power resides in the
Janissaries; who sometimes order their Sultan to strangle his Vizir, and
sometimes the Vizir to depose or strangle his Sultan, according as they
happen to be angry at the one or the other. I own I am glad that the
capital strangler should, in his turn, be STRANGLE-ABLE, and now and then
strangled; for I know of no brute so fierce, nor no criminal so guilty,
as the creature called a Sovereign, whether King, Sultan, or Sophy, who
thinks himself, either by divine or human right, vested with an absolute
power of destroying his fellow-creatures; or who, without inquiring into
his right, lawlessly exerts that power. The most excusable of all those
human monsters are the Turks, whose religion teaches them inevitable
fatalism. A propos of the Turks, my Loyola, I pretend, is superior to
your Sultan. Perhaps you think this impossible, and wonder who this
Loyola is. Know then, that I have had a Barbet brought me from France, so
exactly like the Sultan that he has been mistaken for him several times;
only his snout is shorter, and his ears longer than the Sultan's. He has
also the acquired knowledge of the Sultan; and I am apt to think that he
studied under the same master at Paris. His habit and his white band show
him to be an ecclesiastic; and his begging, which he does very earnestly,
proves him to be of a mendicant order; which, added to his flattery and
insinuation, make him supposed to be a Jesuit, and have acquired him the
name of Loyola. I must not omit too, that when he breaks wind he smells
exactly like the Sultan.

I do not yet hear one jot the better for all my bathings and pumpings,
though I have been here already full half my time; I consequently go very
little into company, being very little fit for any. I hope you keep
company enough for us both; you will get more by that, than I shall by
all my reading. I read simply to amuse myself and fill up my time, of
which I have too much; but you have two much better reasons for going
into company, pleasure and profit. May you find a great deal of both in a
great deal of company! Adieu.




LETTER CXC

LONDON, November 20, 1753

MY DEAR FRIEND: Two mails are now due from Holland, so that I have no
letter from you to acknowledge; but that, you know, by long experience,
does not hinder my writing to you. I always receive your letters with
pleasure; but I mean, and endeavor, that you should receive mine with
some profit; preferring always your advantage to my own pleasure.

If you find yourself well settled and naturalized at Manheim, stay there
some time, and do not leave a certain for an uncertain good; but if you
think you shall be as well, or better established at Munich, go there as
soon as you please; and if disappointed, you can always return to Manheim
I mentioned, in a former letter, your passing the Carnival at Berlin,
which I think may be both useful and pleasing to you; however, do as you
will; but let me know what you resolve: That King and that country have,
and will have, so great a share in the affairs of Europe, that they are
well worth being thoroughly known.

Whether, where you are now, or ever may be hereafter, you speak French,
German, or English most, I earnestly recommend to you a particular
attention to the propriety and elegance of your style; employ the best
words you can find in the language, avoid cacophony, and make your
periods as harmonious as you can. I need not, I am sure, tell you what
you must often have felt, how much the elegance of diction adorns the
best thoughts, and palliates the worst. In the House of Commons it is
almost everything; and, indeed, in every assembly, whether public or
private. Words, which are the dress of thoughts, deserve surely more care
than clothes, which are only the dress of the person, and which, however,
ought to have their share of attention. If you attend to your style in
any one language, it will give you a habit of attending to it in every
other; and if once you speak either French or German very elegantly, you
will afterward speak much the better English for it. I repeat it to you
again, for at least the thousandth time, exert your whole attention now
in acquiring the ornamental parts of character. People know very little
of the world, and talk nonsense, when they talk of plainness and solidity
unadorned: they will do in nothing; mankind has been long out of a state
of nature, and the golden age of native simplicity will never return.
Whether for the better or the worse, no matter; but we are refined; and
plain manners, plain dress, and plain diction, would as little do in
life, as acorns, herbage, and the water of the neighboring spring, would
do at table. Some people are just come, who interrupt me in the middle of
my sermon; so good-night.




LETTER CXCI

LONDON, November 26, 1753

DEAR FRIEND: Fine doings at Manheim! If one may give credit to the weekly
histories of Monsieur Roderigue, the finest writer among the moderns; not
only 'des chasses brillantes et nombreuses des operas ou les acteurs se
surpassent les jours des Saints de L. L. A. A. E. E. serenissimes
celebres; en grand gala'; but to crown the whole, Monsieur Zuchmantel is
happily arrived, and Monsieur Wartenslebeu hourly expected. I hope that
you are 'pars magna' of all these delights; though, as Noll Bluff says,
in the "Old Bachelor," THAT RASCALLY GAZETTEER TAKES NO MORE NOTICE OF
YOU THAN IF YOU WERE NOT IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING. I should think that
he might at least have taken notice that in these rejoicings you appeared
with a rejoicing, and not a gloomy countenance; and you distinguished
yourself in that numerous and shining company, by your air, dress,
address, and attentions. If this was the case, as I will both hope and
suppose it was, I will, if you require it, have him written to, to do you
justice in his next 'supplement'. Seriously, I am very glad that you are
whirled in that 'tourbillon' of pleasures; they smooth, polish, and rub
off rough corners: perhaps too, you have some particular COLLISION, which
is still more effectual.

Schannat's "History of the Palatinate" was, I find, written originally in
German, in which language I suppose it is that you have read it; but, as
I must humbly content myself with the French translation, Vaillant has
sent for it for me from Holland, so that I have not yet read it. While
you are in the Palatinate, you do very well to read everything relative
to it; you will do still better if you make that reading the foundation
of your inquiries into the more minute circumstances and anecdotes of
that country, whenever you are in company with informed and knowing
people.

The Ministers here, intimidated on the absurd and groundless clamors of
the mob, have, very weakly in my mind, repealed, this session, the bill
which they had passed in the last for rendering Jews capable of being
naturalized by subsequent acts of parliament. The clamorers triumph, and
will doubtless make further demands, which, if not granted, this piece of
complaisance will soon be forgotten. Nothing is truer in politics, than
this reflection of the Cardinal de Retz, 'Que le peuple craint toujours
quand on ne le craint pas'; and consequently they grow unreasonable and
insolent, when they find that they are feared. Wise and honest governors
will never, if they can help it, give the people just cause to complain;
but then, on the other hand, they will firmly withstand groundless
clamor. Besides that this noise against the Jew bill proceeds from that
narrow mobspirit of INTOLERATION in religious, and inhospitality in civil
matters; both which all wise governments should oppose.

The confusion in France increases daily, as, no doubt, you are informed
where you are. There is an answer of the clergy to the remonstrances of
the parliament, lately published, which was sent me by the last post from
France, and which I would have sent you, inclosed in this, were it not
too bulky. Very probably you may see it at Manheim, from the French
Minister: it is very well worth your reading, being most artfully and
plausibly written, though founded upon false principles; the 'jus
divinum' of the clergy, and consequently their supremacy in all matters
of faith and doctrine are asserted; both which I absolutely deny. Were
those two points allowed the clergy of any country whatsoever, they must
necessarily govern that country absolutely; everything being, directly or
indirectly, relative to faith or doctrine; and whoever is supposed to
have the power of saving and damning souls to all eternity (which power
the clergy pretend to), will be much more considered, and better obeyed,
than any civil power that forms no pretensions beyond this world.
Whereas, in truth, the clergy in every country are, like all other
subjects, dependent upon the supreme legislative power, and are appointed
by that power under whatever restrictions and limitations it pleases, to
keep up decency and decorum in the church, just as constables are to keep
peace in the parish. This Fra Paolo has clearly proved, even upon their
own principles of the Old and New Testament, in his book 'de Beneficiis',
which I recommend to you to read with attention; it is short. Adieu.




LETTER CXCII

LONDON, December 25, 1753

MY DEAR FRIEND: Yesterday again I received two letters at once from you,
the one of the 7th, the other of the 15th, from Manheim.

You never had in your life so good a reason for not writing, either to me
or to anybody else, as your sore finger lately furnished you. I believe
it was painful, and I am glad it is cured; but a sore finger, however
painful, is a much less evil than laziness, of either body or mind, and
attended by fewer ill consequences.

I am very glad to hear that you were distinguished at the court of
Manheim from the rest of your countrymen and fellow-travelers: it is a
sign that you had better manners and address than they; for take it for
granted, the best-bred people will always be the best received wherever
they go. Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of
commercial life; returns are equally expected for both; and people will
no more advance their civility to a bear, than their money to a bankrupt.
I really both hope and believe, that the German courts will do you a
great deal of good; their ceremony and restraint being the proper
correctives and antidotes for your negligence and inattention. I believe
they would not greatly relish your weltering in your own laziness, and an
easy chair; nor take it very kindly, if, when they spoke to you or you to
them, you looked another way, as much as to say, kiss my b----h. As they
give, so they require attention; and, by the way, take this maxim for an
undoubted truth, That no young man can possibly improve in any company,
for which he has not respect enough to be under some degree of restraint.

I dare not trust to Meyssonier's report of his Rhenish, his Burgundy not
having answered either his account or my expectations. I doubt, as a wine
merchant, he is the 'perfidus caupo', whatever he may be as a banker. I
shall therefore venture upon none of his wine; but delay making my
provision of Old Hock, till I go abroad myself next spring: as I told you
in the utmost secrecy, in my last, that I intend to do; and then probably
I may taste some that I like, and go upon sure ground. There is commonly
very good, both at Aix-la-Chapelle and Liege, where I formerly got some
excellent, which I carried with me to Spa, where I drank no other wine.

As my letters to you frequently miscarry, I will repeat in this that part
of my last which related to your future motions. Whenever you shall be
tired of Berlin, go to Dresden; where Sir Charles Williams will be, who
will receive you with open arms. He dined with me to-day, and sets out
for Dresden in about six weeks. He spoke of you with great kindness and
impatience to see you again. He will trust and employ you in business
(and he is now in the whole secret of importance) till we fix our place
to meet in: which probably will be Spa. Wherever you are, inform yourself
minutely of, and attend particularly to the affairs of France; they grow
serious, and in my opinion will grow more and more so every day. The King
is despised and I do not wonder at it; but he has brought it about to be
hated at the same time, which seldom happens to the same man. His
ministers are known to be as disunited as incapable; he hesitates between
the Church and the parliaments, like the ass in the fable, that starved
between two hampers of hay: too much in love with his mistress to part
with her, and too much afraid of his soul to enjoy her; jealous of the
parliaments, who would support his authority; and a devoted bigot to the
Church, that would destroy it. The people are poor, consequently
discontented; those who have religion, are divided in their notions of
it; which is saying that they hate one another. The clergy never do
forgive; much less will they forgive the parliament; the parliament never
will forgive them. The army must, without doubt, take, in their own minds
at last, different parts in all these disputes, which upon occasion would
break out. Armies, though always the supporters and tools of absolute
power for the time being, are always the destroyers of it, too, by
frequently changing the hands in which they think proper to lodge it.
This was the case of the Praetorian bands, who deposed and murdered the
monsters they had raised to oppress mankind. The Janissaries in turkey,
and the regiments of guards in Russia, do the same now. The French nation
reasons freely, which they never did before, upon matters of religion and
government, and begin to be 'sprejiudicati'; the officers do so too; in
short, all the symptoms, which I have ever met with in history previous
to great changes and revolutions in government, now exist, and daily
increase, in France. I am glad of it; the rest of Europe will be the
quieter, and have time to recover. England, I am sure, wants rest, for it
wants men and money; the Republic of the United Provinces wants both
still more; the other Powers cannot well dance, when neither France, nor
the maritime powers, can, as they used to do, pay the piper. The first
squabble in Europe, that I foresee, will be about the Crown of Poland,
should the present King die: and therefore I wish his Majesty a long life
and a merry Christmas. So much for foreign politics; but 'a propos' of
them, pray take care, while you are in those parts of Germany, to inform
yourself correctly of all the details, discussions, and agreements, which
the several wars, confiscations, bans, and treaties, occasioned between
the Bavarian and Palatine Electorates; they are interesting and curious.

I shall not, upon the occasion of the approaching new year, repeat to you
the wishes which I continue to form for you; you know them all already,
and you know that it is absolutely in your power to satisfy most of them.
Among many other wishes, this is my most earnest one: That you would open
the new year with a most solemn and devout sacrifice to the Graces; who
never reject those that supplicate them with fervor; without them, let me
tell you, that your friend Dame Fortune will stand you in little stead;
may they all be your friends! Adieu.




LETTER CXCIII

LONDON, January 15, 1754

MY DEAR FRIEND: I have this moment received your letter of the 26th past
from Munich. Since you are got so well out of the distress and dangers of
your journey from Manheim, I am glad that you were in them:

"Condisce i diletti
Memorie di pene,
Ne sa che sia bene
Chi mal non soffri."

They were but little samples of the much greater distress and dangers
which you must expect to meet within your great, and I hope, long journey
through life. In some parts of it, flowers are scattered, with profusion,
the road is smooth, and the prospect pleasant: but in others (and I fear
the greater number) the road is rugged, beset with thorns and briars, and
cut by torrents. Gather the flowers in your way; but, at the same time,
guard against the briars that are either mixed with them, or that most
certainly succeed them.

I thank you for your wild boar; who, now he is dead, I assure him, 'se
laissera bien manger malgre qu'il en ait'; though I am not so sure that I
should have had that personal valor which so successfully distinguished
you in single combat with him, which made him bite the dust like Homer's
heroes, and, to conclude my period sublimely, put him into that PICKLE,
from which I propose eating him. At the same time that I applaud your
valor, I must do justice to your modesty; which candidly admits that you
were not overmatched, and that your adversary was about your own age and
size. A Maracassin, being under a year old, would have been below your
indignation. 'Bete de compagne', being under two years old, was still, in
my opinion, below your glory; but I guess that your enemy was 'un Ragot',
that is, from two to three years old; an age and size which, between man
and boar, answer pretty well to yours.

If accidents of bad roads or waters do not detain you at Munich, I do not
fancy that pleasures will: and I rather believe you will seek for, and
find them, at the Carnival at Berlin; in which supposition, I eventually
direct this letter to your banker there. While you are at Berlin (I
earnestly recommend it to you again and again) pray CARE to see, hear,
know, and mind, everything there. THE ABLEST PRINCE IN EUROPE is surely
an object that deserves attention; and the least thing that he does, like
the smallest sketches of the greatest painters, has its value, and a
considerable one too.