The Major

R >> Ralph Connor >> The Major


"'Tis a wonderful address we haf been hearing, an eloquent address. Some
of it iss true an' some of it iss lies [commotion in the audience--the
smile on Mr. Alvin P. Jones's face slightly less expansive]. The speaker
has told us about Canada, its great extent, its vast r-r-resources.
Some of us haf known about these things while yet his mother was
still sucking him [snickers of delight from the younger members of the
audience and cries of, 'Go to it, Mack]. 'Tis a great Dominion whatefer
and will be a gr-r-reater Dominion yet so lang as it keeps to right
ways. He has told us of the mighty achievements of Cher-r-rmany. I will
jist be askin' him what has Cher-r-rmany done for this country or for
any country but her ainsel? She has cluttered us up wi' pot-metal,
cutlery an' such things, an' cheap cloth that ye can put yer finger
through, an' that will be done in a month's wear-r-ring. Musick, ye'll
be sayin'! Musick! I was in Calgary not long since. They took me to what
they will be callin' a music-kale [delighted roars of laughter from the
audience]. A music-kale indeed! I haf hear-r-rd of cauld kale an' het
kale, of kale porridge an' kale brose, but nefer haf I hear-r-rd before
of a music-kale. Bless me, man, I cud make neither head nor tail o' it,
and they wer-r-re no better themsel's. They had printed notes about it
an' a bit man makin' a speech about it, but not one of them knew a
thing about the hale hypotheck. Musick, quare musick I call it! If it
is musick yer wantin', gif me Angus there wi' the pipes [wild cheers
testifying to Angus's popularity] or the master-r-r himsel' an' the
young lady here [this with a courteous bow to Miss Switzer] wi' their
feeddles. That's what I will be callin' musick. An' lairnin'! Lairnin'
that will lay sacraleegious hands upon the Sacred Word, an' tear-r-r it
to bits. That like thing the Cher-r-rman lairnin' is doin', and ye can
ask Mr. Rhye yonder. An' other things the Cher-r-rmans are doin' that
keep us all from restin' quiet in our beds. Let them come her-r-re to us
if they will. Let them come from all the countries of the ear-r-rth.
We will share wi' them what we haf, provided they will be behavin'
themsel's and mindin' their peeziness. But this man is sayin' somethin'
more. He is tellin' us how safe we are, an' that the great Republic
south o' us will be guar-r-rdin' us frae our enemies. I doubt it will
be the fox guar-r-rdin' the chicken frae the weasel. Now I'll ask this
gentleman what it is that has guar-r-rded these shores for the past two
hundred and fifty year-r-rs? I will tell him--the Br-r-ritish Navy. What
has kept the peace of Europe once an' again? The Br-r-ritish Navy.
Aye, what has protected America not once or twice frae her enemies? The
Br-r-ritish Navy, an' that same Br-r-ritish Navy is gude enough fer me."

The tumultuous din that followed the conclusion of the cantankerous
little Highlander's speech was beyond all words, but before the chairman
could get to his feet, through the uproar a voice strident with passion
was demanding a hearing. "Mr. Ernest Switzer has the floor," said the
chairman.

The young man's face was white and his voice shaking when he began. "Mr.
Chairman, Ladies and Gentlemen: I stand here to claim the fair play that
you say is British for myself and for my race. I am a Canadian citizen.
I was born in America, but my blood is German. As a Canadian citizen,
as an American by birth, as a German by blood, I have been insulted
to-night, and I demand the right to reply to the man who has insulted
me. There are Canadians here to guard their own honour; the Americans
can be trusted to protect themselves. Germany is not here to refute the
slanders uttered against her, but I claim the honour to speak for that
great nation, for she is a great nation. There is none greater. There is
none so great in the world to-day." The young man's voice rang out with
passionate conviction, his pale set face, his blue eyes flaming with
rage proclaimed the intensity of his emotion. Before his flaming passion
the audience was subdued into a silence tense and profound. "What has
Germany done for the world? this man asks. I would like to ask in reply
where he has lived for the last twenty-five years, and if during those
years he has read anything beyond his local newspaper? What has Germany
done for the world? Germany has shown the way to the world, even to
America, in every activity of life, in industrial organisation, in
scientific inquiry in the laboratory and in the practical application
of science to every-day life. Where do your philosophers go for their
training? To German universities where they seek to understand the
philosophy of the immortal Emanuel Kant. Where in the world has social
reform reached its highest achievement? In Germany. Where do you go for
your models for municipal government? To Germany. Mention any department
of human enterprise to-day and in that department Germany stands easily
in the lead. This man asks what has kept Europe at peace all these
years, and suggests the British Navy, the one constant menace to the
peace of Europe and to the freedom of the seas. No, if you ask who has
kept the peace of Europe I will tell you. The German Kaiser, Wilhelm II.
To him and to the Empire of which he is the glorious head Europe owes
its peace and the world its greatest blessings to-day."

When Switzer sat down a half a dozen men were on their feet demanding
to be heard. Above the din a quiet, but penetrating voice was
distinguished. "Mr. Romayne has the floor," said the Reverend Mr.
Rhye, who himself was tingling with desire for utterance. Mr. Romayne's
appearance and voice suggested the boredom of one who felt the whole
thing to be rather a nuisance.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he began, "I must apologise for venturing to
speak at all, having so recently come to this country, though I am glad
to say that I have been received with such cordial kindness that I do
not feel myself a stranger."

"You're all right, Jack," cried a voice. "You're right at home."

"I am at home," said Jack, "and that is one thing that makes me able
to speak. Few of you can understand the feeling that comes to one who,
travelling six thousand miles away from the heart of the Empire, finds
himself still among his own folk and under the same old flag. Nor can I
express the immense satisfaction and pride that come to me when I find
here in this new world a virile young nation offering a welcome to men
of all nationalities, an equal opportunity to make home and fortune for
themselves, and find also these various nationalities uniting in the one
purpose of building solid and secure an outpost of the Empire to which
we all belong. I rise chiefly to say two things. The first is that
if Germany continues in her present mind she will be at war with our
country within a very short time. The young man who has just sat down
assures us that Germany is a great country. Let us at once frankly grant
this fact, for indeed it is a fact. Whether she is as wonderful or
as great as she thinks herself to be may be doubted. But it is of
importance to know that the opinion stated here to-night is the opinion
held by the whole body of the German people from the Kaiser to the
lowest peasant in the Empire. The universal conviction throughout that
Empire is that not only is Germany the greatest nation on earth, but
that it has a divine mission to confer her own peculiar quality of
civilisation upon the other nations of Europe, and indeed upon the whole
world. We might not quarrel with Germany for cherishing this pleasing
opinion in regard to herself, but when this opinion is wrought into a
purpose to dominate the whole world in order that this mission might
be accomplished the thing takes on a somewhat serious aspect. Let me
repeat, Germany is a great nation, marvellously organised in every
department of her life, agricultural, manufacturing, educational,
commercial. But to what intent? What is the purpose dominating this
marvellous organisation? The purpose, Ladies and Gentlemen, is war. The
supreme industry of the German nation is the manufacturing of a mighty
war machine. I challenge the gentleman who has just spoken to deny
either of these statements, that Germany believes that she has a
definite mission to lift up the other nations of Europe to her own high
level and that to fulfil this mission it is necessary that she be in a
position of control." The speaker paused for a moment or two. "He cannot
deny these because he knows they are true. The second thing I wish to
say is that the Kaiser means war and is waiting only for the favourable
moment. I believe it is correct to say that for many years after his
accession to the throne he used his influence on the side of peace, but
I have every reason to believe that for some years past he has cherished
another purpose, the purpose of war."

At this point Switzer sprang to his feet and cried, "I challenge the
truth of that statement. Modern European history proves it to be false,
and again and again the Kaiser has prevented war. So much is this
the case that the trustees of the only European fund that recognises
distinguished service in the interests of peace bestowed upon the Kaiser
the Nobel Prize."

"That is quite true," replied Mr. Romayne. "But let me recall to this
young man's mind a few facts. In 1875 Bismarck was determined to make
war upon France. He was prevented by the united action of England
and Russia. Germany made the same attempt in '87 and '91. In 1905 so
definite was the threat of war that France avoided it only by dismissing
her war minister, Delcasse. Perhaps my young friend remembers the
Casablanca incident in 1908 where again the Kaiser threatened France
with war. Indeed, for the last twenty years, even while he was doubtless
anxious to maintain peace, he has been rattling his sword in his
scabbard and threatening war against the various nations of Europe. In
most of these cases even when he wanted peace he bluffed with threats
of war. Then came the Agadir incident in 1911 when once more the Kaiser
bluffed. But Great Britain called his bluff that time and the great War
Lord had to back down with great loss of prestige not only with his own
people but with the whole of Europe. It hurt the Kaiser to think that
any nation in Europe should move in any direction without his consent.
Agadir taught him that he must quit bluffing or make up his mind to
fight."

Again Switzer was upon his feet. "This is a slanderous falsehood," he
cried. "How does this man know?"

"I happened to be there," was the quiet reply.

"How do we know?" again cried Switzer.

"Will you kindly repeat that remark?" said Mr. Romayne quietly.

"I believe this statement," shouted Switzer, "to be a slanderous
falsehood."

"If you accuse me of falsehood," said Romayne even more quietly, "that
is a matter of which we shall not discuss here, but later. But these
statements that I have made are history. All Germany knows, all Europe
knows, that at Agadir the Kaiser backed down. He was not ready to fight,
and he lost prestige by it. When Italy, one of the Triple Alliance, went
to war against Turkey without consulting him, this lowered still further
German prestige. In the late Balkan War Germany was again humiliated.
She backed the wrong horse. Her protege and pupil in war, Turkey, was
absolutely beaten. These things convince me that Germany knows that her
hope of dominating Europe is rapidly waning, and she believes that
this hope can only be realised by war and, therefore, I repeat that the
Kaiser and his people are only waiting a favourable moment to launch war
upon Europe and more particularly upon the British Empire, which,
along with the great American democracy, stands between her and the
realisation of her dream."

"The British Empire!" cried Switzer scornfully as Romayne took his seat,
"the British Empire! at the first stern blow this ramshackle empire
will fall to pieces. Then Great Britain will be forced to surrender her
robber hold upon these great free states which she has stolen and which
she now keeps in chains." (Cries of "Never!" "Rot!" "Shut your trap!")
Switzer sprang to his feet and, shaking his fist in their faces, cried:
"I know what I am saying. This you will see before many months have
passed."

Again Romayne rose to his feet and waited till a silence fell upon the
audience. "Ladies and Gentlemen," he said solemnly, "this German officer
knows what he is talking about. That Germany within a few months will
make her supreme attempt to smash the British Empire I believe is
certain. I am equally certain that the result of that attempt will not
be what this gentleman anticipates and desires."

For some moments the silence remained unbroken. Then young Monteith
sprang to his feet and led the audience in a succession of mad cheers
that indicated the depth of passion to which they were stirred. After
the cheering had subsided Larry rose and in a slightly querulous tone
and with a humorous smile upon his face he said:

"Mr. Chairman, don't you think we are becoming unnecessarily serious?
And are there not certain things on which we all agree? First that
we are all Canadians, first, last and all the time. Secondly, that
we greatly respect and admire our American cousins and we desire only
better mutual acquaintance for our mutual good. Third, that we are loyal
to and immensely proud of our Empire, and we mean to stick to it. And
fourth, that Germany is a great country and has done great things for
the world. As to the historical questions raised, these are not settled
by discussion but by reliable historic documents. As to the prophecies
made, we can accept or reject them as we choose. Personally I confess
that I am unable to get up any real interest in this German war menace.
I believe Germany has more sense, not to say proper Christian feeling,
than to plunge herself and the world into war. I move, Mr. Chairman,
that we pass to the next order of business."

"Hear! Hear!" cried some. "Go on with the programme."

"No! No!" said others. "Let's have it out."

"Mr. Chairman," said Hec Ross, rising to his feet, "this thing is better
than any silly old programme, let's have it out."

But the chairman, much against his inclination, for he was a fighter,
ruled otherwise. "The differences that separate us from one another here
to-night are not differences that can be settled by argument. They are
differences that are due partly to our history and partly to the ideals
which we cherish. We shall go on with the programme."

At first the people were in no mood for mere amusement. They had been
made to face for a brief moment the great and stern reality of war. The
words and more the manner of Jack Romayne had produced a deep sense in
their minds of the danger of a European conflagration, and the ominous
words of the young German spoken as from intimate knowledge only
served to deepen the impression made by Romayne. But the feeling
was transitory, and speedily the possibility of war was dismissed as
unthinkable. The bogey of a German war was familiar and therefore losing
its power to disturb them. So after two or three musical numbers had
been given the audience had settled back into its normal state of mind
which accepted peace as the natural and permanent condition for the
world.

The entertainment would have come to a perfectly proper and harmonious
close had it not been for the unrestrained exuberance of Sam's humorous
qualities on the one hand and the complete absence of sense of humour
in Ernest Switzer on the other. The final number on the programme,
which was to be a series of humorous character sketches, had been left
entirely in Sam's hands and consisted of a trilogy representing the
characteristics as popularly conceived of the French Canadian habitant,
the humorous Irishman and the obese Teuton. Sam's early association
with the vaudeville stage had given him a certain facility in the use
of stage properties and theatrical paraphernalia generally, and this
combined with a decided gift of mimicry enabled him to produce a
really humorous if somewhat broadly burlesqued reproduction of these
characters. In the presentation of his sketch Sam had reserved to the
close his representation of the obese Teuton. The doings of this Teuton,
while sending the audience into roars of laughter, had quite a different
effect upon Switzer, who after a few moments of wrathful endurance made
toward the rear of the audience.

Meantime the obese Teuton has appeared upon the stage in a famished
condition demanding vociferously and plaintively from the world at large
sausage. But no sausage is available. At this point a stray dog wanders
upon the stage. With a cry of delight the famished Teuton seizes the
unfortunate cur and joyously announcing that now sausage he will have,
forthwith disappears. Immediately from the wings arise agonised canine
howlings with which mingles the crashing of machinery. Gradually the
howlings die into choking silence while the crash of the machinery
proceeds for a few moments longer. Thereupon reappears the Teuton,
ecstatic and triumphant, bearing with him a huge sausage, which he
proceeds to devour with mingled lamentations over his departed "hund"
and raptures over its metamorphosed condition. In the midst of this
mingled lamentation and rapture is heard in the distance upon a mouth
organ band the sound of the German national air. The Teuton is startled,
drops his sausage upon the stage and exclaiming "Der Kronprinz," hastily
beats a retreat.

At the mention of this august name Switzer disappears from the rear
of the audience and makes his way to the back of the stage. In the
meantime, to the accompaniment of organs and drums, appears upon the
stage no less a personage than "der Kronprinz," to the reproduction of
whose features Sam's peculiar facial appearance admirably lends itself.
From this point the action proceeds with increased rapidity. No sooner
had "der Kronprinz," who is also in a famished condition, appeared upon
the stage than his eyes light upon the sausage. With a cry of delight
he seizes it and proceeds ravenously to devour it. But at the first
mouthful renewed howlings arise. "Der Kronprinz," in a state of intense
excitement, drops his sausage and begins a wild search in the corners
of the stage and in the wings for the source of the uproar. The sausage
thus abandoned, aided by an invisible cord, wabbles off the stage
before the eyes of the wondering and delighted audience. Thereafter "der
Kronprinz" reappears with his "hund" under his arm and begins an active
and distracted search for his precious sausage. Disappointed in his
search for the sausage and rendered desperate by his famished condition,
he seizes the wretched cur and begins gnawing at the tail and retires
from the scene, accompanied by the howls of the unhappy canine and the
applauding shouts of the audience.

Meantime while Sam is engaged in executing a lightning change from the
role of "der Kronprinz" to that of the original obese Teuton, Switzer
beside himself with rage comes upon him at the precise moment when he is
engaged in tying up his shoe preparatory to making his final entry upon
the stage. The posture is irresistibly inviting. The next instant the
astonished audience beholds the extraordinary spectacle of the obese
Teuton under the impulse of the irate Switzer's boot in rapid flight
across the stage upon all fours, bearing down with terrific speed upon
the rear of the unsuspecting chairman who, facing the audience and with
a genial smile upon his countenance, is engaged in applauding Sam's
previous performance. Making frantic but futile efforts to recover
himself, Sam plunges head on with resistless impact full upon the exact
spot where the legs of the parson effect a junction with the rest of
his person and carries that gentleman with him clear off the stage and
fairly upon the top of old McTavish, who at that moment is engaged in
conversation with little Miss Haight immediately behind him. Immediately
there is a terrific uproar, in which through the delighted yells of the
crowd, the crashing of the overturned chairs, and the general confusion
could be heard the shrieks of the little spinster and weird Scotch
oaths from McTavish. After the noise had somewhat subsided and when
the confusion had been reduced to a semblance of order, McTavish was
discovered with his hand upon the collar of the dazed parson who in turn
held the obese Teuton in a firm and wrathful grip, at which once more
the whole crowd rocked with an unholy but uncontrollable joy.

It was Larry who saved the situation by appearing upon the stage and
gravely announcing that this unfortunate catastrophe was due to a sudden
international upheaval which as usual in such cases had come about in
an absolutely unexpected manner and as a result of misunderstandings and
mistakes for which no one could be held responsible. He proposed in
the name of the audience votes of thanks to those who had laboured so
diligently to make the Dominion Day celebration so great a success,
especially to the ladies and gentlemen who had served upon the various
committees, to the speakers of the evening, to those who had provided
the entertainment, and last but not least to the chairman who had
presided with such grace and dignity over the proceedings of the
evening. The motion was carried with tumultuous applause, and after the
singing of "The Maple Leaf" and the national anthem, the meeting came to
a close.

After the entertainment was over Larry and his mother slowly took the
trail homewards, declining many offers of a lift from their friends
in cars and carriages. It was the Harvest Moon. Upon the folds of
the rolling prairie, upon the round tops of the hills, upon the broad
valleys, and upon the far-away peaks in the west the white light lay
thick and soft like a mantle. Above the white-mantled world the concave
of the sky hung blue and deep and pricked out with pale star points.
About the world the night had thrown her mystic jewelled robes of white
and blue, making a holy shrine, a very temple of peace for God and man.
For some minutes they walked together in silence, after they had bidden
good-night to the last of their friends.

"What a world it is, Mother!" said Larry, gazing about him at the beauty
of the night.

"Yes, but alas, alas, that God's own children should spoil all this
glory with hatred and strife! This very night in the unhappy Balkan
States men are killing each other. It is too sad and too terrible to
think of. Oh, if men would be content only to do justly by each other."

"Those people of the Balkan States are semi-barbarians," said Larry,
"and therefore war between them is to be expected; but I cannot
get myself to believe in the possibility of war between Christians,
civilised nations to-day. But, Mother, for the first time in my life,
listening to those two men, Romayne and Switzer, I had a feeling that
war might be possible. Switzer seemed so eager for it, and so sure
about it, didn't he? And Romayne, too, seemed ready to fight. But then
I always remember that military men and military nations are for ever
talking war."

"That is quite true, my dear," said his mother. "I too find it difficult
to believe that war is possible in spite of what we have heard to-night.
Our Friends at Home do not believe that war is imminent. They tell me
that the feeling between Germany and Britain is steadily improving."

"And yet two years ago, Mother, in connection with the Agadir incident
war might have happened any minute."

"That is true," replied his mother, "but every year of peace makes
war less likely. The Friends are working and praying for a better
understanding between these nations, and they are very confident that
these peace delegations that are exchanging visits are doing a great
deal for peace. Your Uncle Matthew, who has had a great deal to do with
them, is very hopeful that a few years of peace will carry us past the
danger point."

"Well, I hope so, Mother. I loathe the very thought of war," said Larry.
"I think I am like you in this. I never did fight, you know; as a boy I
always got out of it. Do you know, Mother, I think I would be afraid to
fight."

"I hope so," replied his mother. "Fighting is no work for man, but for
brute."

"But you would not be afraid, Mother. I know you would stand up to
anything."

"Oh, no, no," cried his mother. "I could stand up to very little. After
all, it is only God that makes strong to endure."

"But it is not quite the question of enduring, it is not the suffering,
Mother. It is the killing. I don't believe I could kill a man, and yet
in the Bible they were told to kill."

"But surely, Larry, we read our Bible somewhat differently these days.
Surely we have advanced since the days of Abraham. We do not find our
Lord and master commanding men to kill."

"But, Mother, in these present wars should not men defend their women
and children from such outrages as we read about?"