The Memoirs of Madame de Montespan, Volume I.

M >> Madame La Marquise De Montespan >> The Memoirs of Madame de Montespan, Volume I.


The princess, so the writer added, stung by qualms of conscience, had
insisted upon having her guilty intimacy purified by the sacrament of
marriage, to which the prime minister agreed. Then, mentioning the names
of such and such persons as witnesses, the book stated that "this
marriage was solemnised on a night in February, 1643, by Cardinal de
Sainte-Suzanne, a brother and servile creature of Mazarin's."

"This explains," added the vile print, "the zeal, perseverance, and
foolish ardour of the Queen Regent in defending her Italian against the
just opposition of the nobles, against the formal charges of the
magistrates, against the clamorous outcry, not only of Parisians, but of
all France. This explains the indifference, or rather the firm resolve,
on Mazarin's part; never to take orders, but to remain simply 'tonsure'
or 'minore',--he who controls at least forty abbeys, as well as a
bishopric.

"Look at the young monarch," it continued, "and consider how closely he
resembles his Eminence, the same haughty glance; the same uncontrolled
passion for pompous buildings, luxurious dress and equipages; the same
deference and devotion to the Queen-mother; the same independent customs,
precepts, and laws; the same aversion for the Parisians; the same
resentment against the honest folk of the Fronde."

This final phrase easily disclosed its origin; nor upon this point had
his Majesty the slightest shadow of a doubt.

The same evening he sent full instructions to the lieutenant-general of
police, and two days afterwards the nocturnal vendor of pamphlets found
himself caught in a trap.

The King wished him to be brought to Saint Germain, so that he might
identify him personally; and, as he pretended to be half-witted or an
idiot, he was thrown half naked into a dungeon. His allowance of dry
bread diminished day by day, at which he complained, and it was decided
to make him undergo this grim ordeal.

Under the pressure of hunger and thirst, the prisoner at length made a
confession, and mentioned a bookseller of the Quartier Latin, who, under
the Fronde, had made his shop a meeting-place for rebels.

The bookseller, having been put in the Bastille, and upon the same diet
as his salesman, stated the name of the Dutch printer who had published
the pamphlet. They sought to extract more from him, and reduced his diet
with such severity that he disclosed the entire secret.

This bookseller, used to a good square meal at home, found it impossible
to tolerate the Bastille fare much longer. Bound hand and foot, at his
final cross-examination he confessed that the work had emanated from the
Cardinal de Retz, or certain of his party.

He was condemned to three years' imprisonment, and was obliged to sell
his shop and retire to the provinces.

I once heard M. de Louvois tell this tale, and use it as a means of
silencing those who regretted the absence of the exiled
Cardinal-archbishop.

As to the libellous pamphlet itself, the clumsy nature of it was only too
plain, for the King is no more like Mazarin than he is like the King of
Ethiopia. On the contrary, one can easily distinguish in the general
effect of his features a very close resemblance to King Louis XIII.

The libellous pamphlet stated that, on the occasion of the Infanta's
first confinement, twins were born, and that the prettier of the two had
been adopted, another blunder, this, of the grossest kind. A book of
this sort could deceive only the working class and the Parisian lower
orders, for folk about the Court, and even the bourgeoisie, know that it
is impossible for a queen to be brought to bed in secret. Unfortunately
for her, she has to comply with the most embarrassing rules of etiquette.
She has to bear her final birth-pangs under an open canopy, surrounded at
no great distance by all the princes of the blood; they are summoned
thither, and they have this right so as to prevent all frauds,
subterfuges, or impositions.

When the King found the seditious book in question, the Queen, his
mother, was ill and in pain; every possible precaution was taken to
prevent her from hearing the news, and the lieutenant-general of police,
having informed the King that two-thirds of the edition had been seized
close to the Archbishop's palace, orders were given to burn all these
horrible books by night, in the presence of the Marquis de Beringhen,
appointed commissioner on this occasion.




CHAPTER XV.

Monsieur le Duc d'Orleans Wishes to be Governor of a Province.--The
King's Reply.--He Requires a Fauteuil for His Wife.--Another Excellent
Answer of the King's.


In marrying Monsieur, the King consulted only his well-known generosity,
and the richly equipped household which he granted to this prince should
assuredly have made him satisfied and content. The Chevalier de Lorraine
and the Chevalier de Remecourt, two pleasant and baneful vampires whom
Monsieur could refuse nothing, put it into his head that he should make
himself feared, so as to lead his Majesty on to greater concessions,
which they were perfectly able to turn to their own enjoyment and profit.

Monsieur began by asking for the governorship of a province; in reply he
was told that this could not be, seeing that such appointments were never
given to French princes, brothers of the King.

Monsieur le Duc d'Orleans hastened to point out that Gaston, son of Henri
IV., had had such a post, and that the Duc de Verneuil, natural son of
the same Henri, had one at the present time.

"That is true," replied the King, "but from my youth upward you have
always heard me condemn such innovations, and you cannot expect me to do
the very thing that I have blamed others for doing. If ever you were
minded, brother, to rebel against my authority, your first care would,
undoubtedly, be to withdraw to your province, where, like Gaston, your
uncle, you would have to raise troops and money. Pray do not weary me
with indiscretions of this sort; and tell those people who influence you
to give you better advice for the future."

Somewhat abashed, the Duc d'Orleans affirmed that what he had said and
done was entirely of his own accord.

"Did you speak of your own accord," said the King, "when insisting upon
being admitted to the privy council? Such a thing can no longer be
allowed. You inconsiderately expressed two different opinions, and since
you cannot control your tongue, which is most undoubtedly your own, I
have no power over it,--I, to whom it does not want to belong."

Then Monsieur le Duc d'Orleans added that these two refusals would seem
less harsh, less painful to him, if the King would grant a seat in his
own apartments, and in those of the Queen, to the Princess, his wife, who
was a king's daughter.

"No, that cannot be," replied his Majesty, "and pray do not insist upon
it. It is not I who have established the present customs; they existed
long before you or me. It is in your interest, brother, that the majesty
of the throne should not be weakened or altered; and if, from Duc
d'Orleans, you one day become King of France, I know you well enough to
believe that you would never be lax in this matter. Before God, you and
I are exactly the same as other creatures that live and breathe; before
men we are seemingly extraordinary beings, greater, more refined, more
perfect. The day that people, abandoning this respect and veneration
which is the support and mainstay of monarchies,--the day that they
regard us as their equals,--all the prestige of our position will be
destroyed. Bereft of beings superior to the mass, who act as their
leaders and supports, the laws will only be as so many black lines on
white paper, and your armless chair and my fauteuil will be two pieces of
furniture of the selfsame importance. Personally, I should like to
gratify you in every respect, for the same blood flows in our veins, and
we have loved each other from the cradle upwards. Ask of me things that
are practicable, and you shall see that I will forestall your wishes.
Personally, I daresay I care less about honorary distinctions than you
do, and in Cabinet matters I am always considered to be simpler and more
easy to deal with than such and such a one. One word more, and I have
done. I will nominate you to the governorship of any province you
choose, if you will now consent in writing to let proceedings be taken
against you, just as against any ordinary gentleman, in case there should
be sedition in your province, or any kind of disorder during your
administration."

Hereupon young Philippe began to smile, and he begged the King to embrace
him.




CHAPTER XVI.

Arms and Livery of Madame de Montespan.--Duchess or Princess.--Fresh
Scandal Caused by the Marquis.--The Rue Saint Honore Affair.--M. de
Ronancour.--Separation of Body and Estate.


When leaving, despite himself, for the provinces, M. de Montespan wrote
me a letter full of bitter insults, in which he ordered me to give up his
coat-of-arms, his livery, and even his name.

This letter I showed to the King. For a while he was lost in thought, as
usual on such occasions, and then he said to me:

"There's nothing extraordinary about the fellow's livery. Put your
servants into pale orange with silver lace. Assume your old crest of
Mortemart, and as regards name, I will buy you an estate with a pretty
title."

"But I don't like pale orange," I instantly replied; "if I may, I should
like to choose dark blue, and gold lace, and as regards crest, I cannot
adopt my father's crest, except in lozenge form, which could not
seriously be done. As it is your gracious intention to give me the name
of an estate, give me (for to you everything is easy) a duchy like La
Valliere, or, better still, a principality."

The King smiled, and answered, "It shall be done, madame, as you wish."

The very, next day I went into Paris to acquaint my lawyer with my
intentions. Several magnificent estates were just then in the market,
but only marquisates, counties, or baronies! Nothing illustrious,
nothing remarkable! Duhamel assured me that the estate of Chabrillant,
belonging to a spendthrift, was up for sale.

"That," said he, "is a sonorous name, the brilliant renown of which would
only be enhanced by the title of princess."

Duhamel promised to see all his colleagues in this matter, and to find me
what I wanted without delay.

I quitted Paris without having met or recognised anybody, when, about
twenty paces at the most beyond the Porte Saint Honor, certain sergeants
or officials of some sort roughly stopped my carriage and seized my
horses' bridles "in the King's name."

"In the King's name?" I cried, showing myself at the coach door.

"Insolent fellows! How dare you thus take the King's name in vain?" At
the same time I told my coachman to whip up his horses with the reins and
to drive over these vagabonds. At a word from me the three footmen
jumped down and did their duty by dealing out lusty thwacks to the
sergeants. A crowd collected, and townsfolk and passers-by joined in the
fray.

A tall, fine-looking man, wrapped in a dressing-gown, surveyed the tumult
like a philosopher from his balcony overhead. I bowed graciously to him
and besought him to come down. He came, and in sonorous accents
exclaimed:

"Ho, there! serving-men of my lady, stop fighting, will you? And pray,
sergeants, what is your business?"

"It is a disgrace," cried they all, as with one breath. "Madame lets her
scoundrelly footmen murder us, despite the name of his Majesty, which we
were careful to utter at the outset of things. Madame is a person (as
everybody in France now knows) who is in open revolt against her husband;
she has deserted him in order to cohabit publicly with some one else. Her
husband claims his coach, with his own crest and armorial bearings
thereon, and we are here for the purpose of carrying out the order of one
of the judges of the High Court."

"If that be so," replied the man in the dressing-gown, "I have no
objection to offer, and though madame is loveliness itself, she must
suffer me to pity her, and I have the honour of saluting her."

So saying, he made me a bow and left me, without help of any sort, in the
midst of this crazy rabble.

I was inconsolable. My coachman, the best fellow in the world, called
out to him from the top of his bog, "Monsieur, pray procure help for my
mistress,--for Madame la Marquise de Montespan."

No sooner had he uttered these words than the gentleman came back again,
while, among the lookers-on, some hissing was heard. He raised both
hands with an air of authority, and speaking with quite incredible
vehemence and fire, he successfully harangued the crowd.

"Madame does not refuse to comply with the requirements of justice," he
added firmly; "but madame, a member of the Queen's household, is
returning to Versailles, and cannot go thither on foot, or in some
tumbledown vehicle. So I must beg these constables or sergeants (no
matter which) to defer their arrest until to-morrow, and to accept me as
surety. The French people is the friend of fair ladies; and true
Parisians are incapable of harming or of persecuting aught that is
gracious and beautiful."

All those present, who at first had hissed, replied to this speech by
cries of "Bravo!" One of my men, who had been wounded in the scuffle,
had his hand all bloody. A young woman brought some lavender-water, and
bound up the wound with her white handkerchief, amid loud applause from
the crowd, while I bowed my acknowledgments and thanks.

The King listened with interest to the account of the adventure that I
have just described, and wished to know the name of the worthy man who
had acted as my support and protector. His name was De Tarcy-Ronancour.
The King granted him a pension of six thousand francs, and gave the Abbey
of Bauvoir to his daughter.

As for me, I kept insisting with might and main for a separation of body
and estate, which alone could put an end to all my anxiety. When a
decree for such separation was pronounced at the Chatelet, and registered
according to the rules, I set about arranging an appanage which, from the
very first day, had seemed to me absolutely necessary for my position.

As ill-luck would have it, the judges left me the name of Montespan,
which to my husband was so irksome, and to myself also; and the King,
despite repeated promises, never relieved me of a name that it was very
difficult to bear.




ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

Armed with beauty and sarcasm
Conduct of the sort which cements and revives attachments
Console me on the morrow for what had troubled me to-day
Depicting other figures she really portrays her own
In England a man is the absolute proprietor of his wife
In Rome justice and religion always rank second to politics
Kings only desire to be obeyed when they command
Laws will only be as so many black lines on white paper
Love-affair between Mademoiselle de la Valliere and the King
Madame de Montespan had died of an attack of coquetry
Not show it off was as if one only possessed a kennel
That Which Often It is Best to Ignore
Violent passion had changed to mere friendship
When women rule their reign is always stormy and troublous
Wife: property or of furniture, useful to his house
Won for himself a great name and great wealth by words