The Memoires of Casanova, Complete

J >> Jacques Casanova de Seingalt >> The Memoires of Casanova, Complete


"I understand. You may reckon on my discretion, and I hope the affair may
be ended honourably and prosperously for you. But take a piece of
friendly advice--don't spare your opponent, were it the king himself, for
it might cost you your life. I know that by experience."

"I will not forget. Farewell."

We kissed each other, and I ordered an excellent dinner, for I had no
mind to be sent to Pluto fasting. Campioni came in to dinner at one
o'clock, and at dessert I had a visit from two young counts, with their
tutor, Bertrand, a kindly Swiss. They were witnesses to my cheerfulness
and the excellent appetite with which I ate. At half-past two I dismissed
my company, and stood at the window to be ready to go down directly
Branicki's carriage appeared. He drove up in a travelling carriage and
six; two grooms, leading saddle-horses, went in front, followed by his
two aide-de-camps and two hussars. Behind his carriage stood four
servants. I hastened to descend, and found my enemy was accompanied by a
lieutenant-general and an armed footman. The door was opened, the general
gave me his place, and I ordered my servants not to follow me but to
await my orders at the house.

"You might want them," said Branicki; "they had better come along."

"If I had as many as you, I would certainly agree to your proposition;
but as it is I shall do still better without any at all. If need be, your
excellency will see that I am tended by your own servants."

He gave me his hand, and assured me they should wait on me before
himself.

I sat down, and we went off.

It would have been absurd if I had asked where we were going, so I held
my tongue, for at such moments a man should take heed to his words.
Branicki was silent, and I thought the best thing I could do would be to
engage him in a trivial conversation.

"Does your excellency intend spending the spring at Warsaw?"

"I had thought of doing so, but you may possibly send me to pass the
spring somewhere else."

"Oh, I hope not!"

"Have you seen any military service?"

"Yes; but may I ask why your excellency asks me the question, for--"

"I had no particular reason; it was only for the sake of saying
something."

We had driven about half an hour when the carriage stopped at the door of
a large garden. We got down and, following the postoli, reached a green
arbour which, by the way, was not at all green on that 5th of March. In
it was a stone table on which the footman placed two pistols, a foot and
half long, with a powder flask and scales. He weighed the powder, loaded
them equally, and laid them down crosswise on the table.

This done, Branicki said boldly,

"Choose your weapon, sir."

At this the general called out,

"Is this a duel, sir?"

"Yes."

"You cannot fight here; you are within the ban."

"No matter."

"It does matter; and I, at all events, refuse to be a witness. I am on
guard at the castle, and you have taken me by surprise."

"Be quiet; I will answer for everything. I owe this gentleman
satisfaction, and I mean to give it him here."

"M. Casanova," said the general, "you cannot fight here."

"Then why have I been brought here? I shall defend myself wherever I am
attacked."

"Lay the whole matter before the king, and you shall have my voice in
your favour."

"I am quite willing to do so, general, if his excellency will say that he
regrets what passed between us last night."

Branicki looked fiercely at me, and said wrathfully that he had come to
fight and not to parley.

"General," said I, "you can bear witness that I have done all in my power
to avoid this duel."

The general went away with his head between his hands, and throwing off
my cloak I took the first pistol that came to my hand. Branicki took the
other, and said that he would guarantee upon his honour that my weapon
was a good one.

"I am going to try its goodness on your head," I answered.

He turned pale at this, threw his sword to one of his servants, and bared
his throat, and I was obliged, to my sorrow, to follow his example, for
my sword was the only weapon I had, with the exception of the pistol. I
bared my chest also, and stepped back five or six paces, and he did the
same.

As soon as we had taken up our positions I took off my hat with my left
hand, and begged him to fire first.

Instead of doing so immediately he lost two or three seconds in sighting,
aiming, and covering his head by raising the weapon before it. I was not
in a position to let him kill me at his ease, so I suddenly aimed and
fired on him just as he fired on me. That I did so is evident, as all the
witnesses were unanimous in saying that they only heard one report. I
felt I was wounded in my left hand, and so put it into my pocket, and I
ran towards my enemy who had fallen. All of a sudden, as I knelt beside
him, three bare swords were flourished over my head, and three noble
assassins prepared to cut me down beside their master. Fortunately,
Branicki had not lost consciousness or the power of speaking, and he
cried out in a voice of thunder,--

"Scoundrels! have some respect for a man of honour."

This seemed to petrify them. I put my right hand under the pistoli's
armpit, while the general helped him on the other side, and thus we took
him to the inn, which happened to be near at hand.

Branicki stooped as he walked, and gazed at me curiously, apparently
wondering where all the blood on my clothes came from.

When we got to the inn, Branicki laid himself down in an arm-chair. We
unbuttoned his clothes and lifted up his shirt, and he could see himself
that he was dangerously wounded. My ball had entered his body by the
seventh rib on the right hand, and had gone out by the second false rib
on the left. The two wounds were ten inches apart, and the case was of an
alarming nature, as the intestines must have been pierced. Branicki spoke
to me in a weak voice,--

"You have killed me, so make haste away, as you are in danger of the
gibbet. The duel was fought in the ban, and I am a high court officer,
and a Knight of the White Eagle. So lose no time, and if you have not
enough money take my purse."

I picked up the purse which had fallen out, and put it back in his
pocket, thanking him, and saying it would be useless to me, for if I were
guilty I was content to lose my head. "I hope," I added, "that your wound
will not be mortal, and I am deeply grieved at your obliging me to
fight."

With these words I kissed him on his brow and left the inn, seeing
neither horses nor carriage, nor servant. They had all gone off for
doctor, surgeon, priest, and the friends and relatives of the wounded
man.

I was alone and without any weapon, in the midst of a snow-covered
country, my hand was wounded, and I had not the slightest idea which was
the way to Warsaw.

I took the road which seemed most likely, and after I had gone some
distance I met a peasant with an empty sleigh.

"Warszawa?" I cried, shewing him a ducat.

He understood me, and lifted a coarse mat, with which he covered me when
I got into the sleigh, and then set off at a gallop.

All at once Biniski, Branicki's bosom-friend, came galloping furiously
along the road with his bare sword in his hand. He was evidently running
after me. Happily he did not glance at the wretched sleigh in which I
was, or else he would undoubtedly have murdered me. I got at last to
Warsaw, and went to the house of Prince Adam Czartoryski to beg him to
shelter me, but there was nobody there. Without delay I determined to
seek refuge in the Convent of the Recollets, which was handy.

I rang at the door of the monastery, and the porter seeing me covered
with blood hastened to shut the door, guessing the object of my visit.
But I did not give him the time to do so, but honouring him with a hearty
kick forced my way in. His cries attracted a troop of frightened monks. I
demanded sanctuary, and threatened them with vengeance if they refused to
grant it. One of their number spoke to me, and I was taken to a little
den which looked more like a dungeon than anything else. I offered no
resistance, feeling sure that they would change their tune before very
long. I asked them to send for my servants, and when they came I sent for
a doctor and Campioni. Before the surgeon could come the Palatin of
Polduchia was announced. I had never had the honour of speaking to him,
but after hearing the history of my duel he was so kind as to give me all
the particulars of a duel he had fought in his youthful days. Soon after
came the Palatin of Kalisch, Prince Jablenowski. Prince Sanguska, and the
Palatin of Wilna, who all joined in a chorus of abuse of the monks who
had lodged me so scurvily. The poor religious excused themselves by
saying that I had ill-treated their porter, which made my noble friends
laugh; but I did not laugh, for my wound was very painful. However I was
immediately moved into two of their best guest-rooms.

The ball had pierced my hand by the metacarpus under the index finger,
and had broken the first phalanges. Its force had been arrested by a
metal button on my waistcoat, and it had only inflicted a slight wound on
my stomach close to the navel. However, there it was and it had to be
extracted, for it pained me extremely. An empiric named Gendron, the
first surgeon my servants had found, made an opening on the opposite side
of my hand which doubled the wound. While he was performing this painful
operation I told the story of the duel to the company, concealing the
anguish I was enduring. What a power vanity exercises on the moral and
physical forces! If I had been alone I should probably have fainted.

As soon as the empiric Gendron was gone, the palatin's surgeon came in
and took charge of the case, calling Gendron a low fellow. At the same
time Prince Lubomirski, the husband of the palatin's daughter, arrived,
and gave us all a surprise by recounting the strange occurrences which
had happened after the duel. Bininski came to where Branicki was lying,
and seeing his wound rode off furiously on horseback, swearing to strike
me dead wherever he found me. He fancied I would be with Tomatis, and
went to his house. He found Tomatis with his mistress, Prince Lubomirski,
and Count Moszczinski, but no Casanova was visible. He asked where I was,
and on Tomatis replying that he did not know he discharged a pistol at
his head. At this dastardly action Count Moszczincki seized him and tried
to throw him out of the window, but the madman got loose with three cuts
of his sabre, one of which slashed the count on the face and knocked out
three of his teeth.

"After this exploit," Prince Lubomirski continued, "he seized me by the
throat and held a pistol to my head, threatening to blow out my brains if
I did not take him in safety to the court where his horse was, so that he
might get away from the house without any attack being made on him by
Tomatis's servants; and I did so immediately. Moszczinski is in the
doctor's hands, and will be laid up for some time.

"As soon as it was reported that Branicki was killed, his Uhlans began to
ride about the town swearing to avenge their colonel, and to slaughter
you. It is very fortunate that you took refuge here.

"The chief marshal has had the monastery surrounded by two hundred
dragoons, ostensibly to prevent your escape, but in reality to defend you
from Branicki's soldiers.

"The doctors say that the postoli is in great danger if the ball has
wounded the intestines, but if not they answer for his recovery. His fate
will be known tomorrow. He now lies at the lord chamberlain's, not daring
to have himself carried to his apartments at the palace. The king has
been to see him, and the general who was present told his majesty that
the only thing that saved your life was your threat to aim at Branicki's
head. This frightened him, and to keep your ball from his head he stood
in such an awkward position that he missed your vital parts. Otherwise he
would undoubtedly have shot you through the heart, for he can split a
bullet into two halves by firing against the blade of a knife. It was
also a lucky thing for you that you escaped Bininski, who never thought
of looking for you in the wretched sleigh."

"My lord, the most fortunate thing for me is that I did not kill my man
outright. Otherwise I should have been cut to pieces just as I went to
his help by three of his servants, who stood over me with drawn swords.
However, the postoli ordered them to leave me alone.

"I am sorry for what has happened to your highness and Count Moszczinski;
and if Tomatis was not killed by the madman it is only because the pistol
was only charged with powder."

"That's what I think, for no one heard the bullet; but it was a mere
chance."

"Quite so."

Just then an officer of the palatin's came to me with a note from his
master, which ran as follows:

"Read what the king says to me, and sleep well."

The king's note was thus conceived:

"Branicki, my dear uncle, is dangerous wounded. My surgeons are doing all
they can for him, but I have not forgotten Casanova. You may assure him
that he is pardoned, even if Branicki should die."

I kissed the letter gratefully, and shewed it to my visitors, who lauded
this generous man truly worthy of being a king.

After this pleasant news I felt in need of rest, and my lords left me. As
soon as they were gone, Campioni, who had come in before and had stood in
the background, came up to me and gave me back the packet of papers, and
with tears of joy congratulated me on the happy issue of the duel.

Next day I had shoals of visitors, and many of the chiefs of the party
opposed to Branicki sent me purses full of gold. The persons who brought
the money on behalf of such a lord or lady, said that being a foreigner I
might be in need of money, and that was their excuse for the liberty they
had taken. I thanked and refused them all, and sent back at least four
thousand ducats, and was very proud of having done so. Campioni thought
it was absurd, and he was right, for I repented afterwards of what I had
done. The only present I accepted was a dinner for four persons, which
Prince Adam Czartoryski sent me in every day, though the doctor would not
let me enjoy it, he being a great believer in diet.

The wound in my stomach was progressing favourably, but on the fourth day
the surgeons said my hand was becoming gangrened, and they agreed that
the only remedy was amputation. I saw this announced in the Court Gazette
the next morning, but as I had other views on the matter I laughed
heartily at the paragraph. The sheet was printed at night, after the king
had placed his initials to the copy. In the morning several persons came
to condole with me, but I received their sympathy with great irreverence.
I merely laughed at Count Clary, who said I would surely submit to the
operation; and just as he uttered the words the three surgeons came in
together.

"Well, gentlemen," said I, "you have mustered in great strength; why is
this?"

My ordinary surgeon replied that he wished to have the opinion of the
other two before proceeding to amputation, and they would require to look
at the wound.

The dressing was lifted and gangrene was declared to be undoubtedly
present, and execution was ordered that evening. The butchers gave me the
news with radiant faces, and assured me I need not be afraid as the
operation would certainly prove efficacious.

"Gentlemen," I replied, "you seem to have a great many solid scientific
reasons for cutting off my hand; but one thing you have not got, and that
is my consent. My hand is my own, and I am going to keep it."

"Sir, it is certainly gangrened; by to-morrow the arm will begin to
mortify, and then you will have to lose your arm."

"Very good; if that prove so you shall cut off my arm, but I happen to
know something of gangrene, and there is none about me."

"You cannot know as much about it as we do."

"Possibly; but as far as I can make out, you know nothing at all."

"That's rather a strong expression."

"I don't care whether it be strong or weak; you can go now."

In a couple of hours everyone whom the surgeons had told of my obstinacy
came pestering me. Even the prince-palatin wrote to me that the king was
extremely surprised at my lack of courage. This stung me to the quick,
and I wrote the king a long letter, half in earnest and half in jest, in
which I laughed at the ignorance of the surgeons, and at the simplicity
of those who took whatever they said for gospel truth. I added that as an
arm without a hand would be quite as useless as no arm at all, I meant to
wait till it was necessary to cut off the arm.

My letter was read at Court, and people wondered how a man with gangrene
could write a long letter of four pages. Lubomirski told me kindly that I
was mistaken in laughing at my friends, for the three best surgeons in
Warsaw could not be mistaken in such a simple case.

"My lord, they are not deceived themselves, but they want to deceive me."

"Why should they?"

"To make themselves agreeable to Branicki, who is in a dangerous state,
and might possibly get better if he heard that my hand had been taken
off."

"Really that seems an incredible idea to me!"

"What will your highness say on the day when I am proved to be right?"

"I shall say you are deserving of the highest praise, but the day must
first come."

"We shall see this evening, and I give you my word that if any gangrene
has attacked the arm, I will have it cut off to-morrow morning."

Four surgeons came to see me. My arm was pronounced to be highly
aedematous, and of a livid colour up to the elbow; but when the lint was
taken off the wound I could see for myself that it was progressing
admirably. However, I concealed my delight. Prince Augustus Sulkowski and
the Abbe Gouvel were present; the latter being attached to the palatin's
court. The judgment of the surgeons was that the arm was gangrened, and
must be amputated by the next morning at latest.

I was tired of arguing with these rascals, so I told them to bring their
instruments, and that I would submit to the operation. At this they went
way in high glee, to tell the news at the Court, to Branicki, to the
palatin, and so forth. I merely gave my servants orders to send them away
when they came.

I can dwell no more on this matter, though it is interesting enough to
me. However, the reader will no doubt be obliged to me by my simply
saying that a French surgeon in Prince Sulkowski's household took charge
of the case in defiance of professional etiquette, and cured me
perfectly, so I have my hand and my arm to this day.

On Easter Day I went to mass with my arm in a sling. My cure had only
lasted three weeks, but I was not able to put the hand to any active
employment for eighteen months afterwards. Everyone was obliged to
congratulate me on having held out against the amputation, and the
general consent declared the surgeons grossly ignorant, while I was
satisfied with thinking them very great knaves.

I must here set down an incident which happened three days after the
duel.

I was told that a Jesuit father from the bishop of the diocese wanted to
speak to me in private, and I had him shewn in, and asked him what he
wanted.

"I have come from my lord-bishop," said he, "to absolve you from the
ecclesiastical censure, which you have incurred by duelling."

"I am always delighted to receive absolution, father, but only after I
have confessed my guilt. In the present case I have nothing to confess; I
was attacked, and I defended myself. Pray thank my lord for his kindness.
If you like to absolve me without confession, I shall be much obliged."

"If you do not confess, I cannot give you absolution, but you can do
this: ask me to absolve you, supposing you have fought a duel."

"Certainly; I shall be glad if you will absolve me, supposing I have
fought a duel."

The delightful Jesuit gave me absolution in similar terms. He was like
his brethren--never at a loss when a loophole of any kind is required.

Three days before I left the monastery, that is on Holy Thursday, the
marshal withdrew my guard. After I had been to mass on Easter Day, I went
to Court, and as I kissed the king's hand, he asked me (as had been
arranged) why I wore my arm in a sling. I said I had been suffering from
a rheum, and he replied, with a meaning smile,--

"Take care not to catch another."

After my visit to the king, I called on Branicki, who had made daily
enquiries after my health, and had sent me back my sword, He was condemned
to stay in bed for six weeks longer at least, for the wad of my pistol
had got into the wound, and in extracting it the opening had to be
enlarged, which retarded his recovery. The king had just appointed him
chief huntsman, not so exalted an office as chamberlain, but a more
lucrative one. It was said he had got the place because he was such a
good shot; but if that were the reason I had a better claim to it, for I
had proved the better shot--for one day at all events.

I entered an enormous ante-room in which stood officers, footmen, pages,
and lacqueys, all gazing at me with the greatest astonishment. I asked if
my lord was to be seen, and begged the door-keeper to send in my name. He
did not answer, but sighed, and went into his master's room. Directly
after, he came out and begged me, with a profound bow, to step in.

Branicki, who was dressed in a magnificent gown and supported by pillows
and cushions, greeted me by taking off his nightcap. He was as pale as
death.

"I have come here, my lord," I began, "to offer you my service, and to
assure you how I regret that I did not pass over a few trifling words of
yours."

"You have no reason to reproach yourself, M. Casanova."

"Your excellency is very kind. I am also come to say that by fighting
with me you have done me an honour which completely swallows up all
offence, and I trust that you will give me your protection for the
future."

"I confess I insulted you, but you will allow that I have paid for it. As
to my friends, I openly say that they are my enemies unless they treat
you with respect. Bininski has been cashiered, and his nobility taken
from him; he is well served. As to my protection you have no need of it,
the king esteems you highly, like myself, and all men of honour. Sit
down; we will be friends. A cup of chocolate for this gentleman. You seem
to have got over your wound completely."

"Quite so, my lord, except as to the use of my fingers, and that will
take some time."

"You were quite right to withstand those rascally surgeons, and you had
good reason for your opinion that the fools thought to please me by
rendering you one-handed. They judged my heart by their own. I
congratulate you on the preservation of your hand, but I have not been
able to make out how my ball could have wounded you in the hand after
striking your stomach."

Just then the chocolate was brought, and the chamberlain came in and
looked at me with a smile. In five minutes the room was full of lords and
ladies who had heard I was with Branicki, and wanted to know how we were
getting on. I could see that they did not expect to find us on such good
terms, and were agreeably surprised. Branicki asked the question which
had been interrupted by the chocolate and the visitors over again.

"Your excellency will allow me to assume the position I was in as I
received your fire."

"Pray do so."

I rose and placed myself in the position, and he said he understood how
it was.

A lady said,--

"You should have put your hand behind your body."

"Excuse me, madam, but I thought it better to put my body behind my
hand."

This sally made Branicki laugh, but his sister said to me,--

"You wanted to kill my brother, for you aimed at his head."

"God forbid, madam! my interest lay in keeping him alive to defend me
from his friends."

"But you said you were going to fire at his head."

"That's a mere figure of speech, just as one says, 'I'll blow your brains
out.' The skilled duellist, however, always aims at the middle of the
body; the head does not offer a large enough surface."

"Yes," said Branicki, "your tactics were superior to mine, and I am
obliged to you for the lesson you gave me."

"Your excellency gave me a lesson in heroism of far greater value."

"You must have had a great deal of practice with the pistol," continued
his sister.

"Not at all, madam, I regard the weapon with detestation. This unlucky
shot was my first; but I have always known a straight line, and my hand
has always been steady."

"That's all one wants," said Branicki. "I have those advantages myself,
and I am only too well pleased that I did not aim so well as usual."

"Your ball broke my first phalanges. Here it is you see, flattened by my
bone. Allow me to return it to you."

"I am sorry to say I can't return yours, which I suppose remains on the
field of battle."

"You seem to be getting better, thank God!"

"The wound is healing painfully. If I had imitated you I should no longer
be in the land of the living; I am told you made an excellent dinner?"