In London And Moscow: The English

J >> Jacques Casanova de Seingalt >> In London And Moscow: The English

THE MEMOIRS OF JACQUES CASANOVA DE SEINGALT

THE RARE UNABRIDGED LONDON EDITION OF 1894 TRANSLATED BY ARTHUR MACHEN TO
WHICH HAS BEEN ADDED THE CHAPTERS DISCOVERED BY ARTHUR SYMONS.

MEMOIRS OF JACQUES CASANOVA de SEINGALT 1725-1798 IN LONDON AND MOSCOW,
Volume 5c--THE ENGLISH




THE ENGLISH




CHAPTER X

Eccentricity of the English--Castelbajac Count Schwerin--Sophie at
School--My Reception at the Betting Club--The Charpillon

I passed a night which seemed like a never-ending nightmare, and I got up
sad and savage, feeling as if I could kill a man on the smallest
provocation. It seemed as if the house, which I had hitherto thought so
beautiful, was like a millstone about my neck. I went out in my
travelling clothes, and walked into a coffee-house, where I saw a score
of people reading the papers.

I sat down, and, not understanding English, passed my time in gazing at
the goers and comers. I had been there some time when my attention was
attracted by the voice of a man speaking as follows in French:

"Tommy has committed suicide, and he was wise, for he was in such a state
that he could only expect unhappiness for the rest of his life."

"You are quite mistaken," said the other, with the greatest composure. "I
was one of his creditors myself, and on making an inventory of his
effects I feel satisfied that he has done a very foolish and a very
childish thing; he might have lived on comfortably, and not killed
himself for fully six months."

At any other time this calculation would have made me laugh, and, as it
was, I felt as if the incident had done me good.

I left the coffee-house without having said a word or spent a penny, and
I went towards the Exchange to get some money. Bosanquet gave me what I
wanted directly, and as I walked out with him I noticed a curious-looking
individual, whose name I asked.

"He's worth a hundred thousand," said the banker.

"And who is that other man over there?"

"He's not worth a ten-pound note."

"But I don't want to hear what they are worth; it's their names I want."

"I really don't know."

"How can you tell how much they are worth, not knowing their names?"

"Names don't go for anything here. What we want to know about a man is
how much he has got? Besides; what's in a name? Ask me for a thousand
pounds and give me a proper receipt, and you can do it under the name of
Socrates or Attila, for all I care. You will pay me back my money as
Socrates or Attila, and not as Seingalt; that is all."

"But how about signing bills of exchange?"

"That's another thing; I must use the name which the drawer gives me."

"I don't understand that."

"Well, you see, you are not English, nor are you a business man."

On leaving him I walked towards the park, but wishing to change a
twenty-pound note before going in I went to a fat merchant, an epicure
whose acquaintance I had made at the tavern, and put down the note on his
counter, begging him to cash it for me.

"Come again in an hour," said he, "I have no money by me just now."

"Very good; I will call again when I come from the park."

"Take back your note; you shall give it to me when I hand you the money."

"Never mind; keep it. I don't doubt your honesty."

"Don't be so foolish. If you left me the note I should certainly decline
to hand over the money, if only for the sake of giving you a lesson."

"I don't believe you are capable of such dishonesty."

"Nor am I, but when it comes to such a simple thing as putting a bank
note in your pocket, the most honest man in the world would never dream
of having such a thing in his possession without having paid the money
for it, and the least slip of memory might lead to a dispute in which you
would infallibly come off second best."

"I feel the force of your arguments, especially in a town where so much
business is carried on."

When I got into the park I met Martinelli and thanked him for sending me
a copy of the Decameron, while he congratulated me on my re-appearance in
society, and on the young lady of whom I had been the happy possessor and
no doubt the slave.

"My Lord Pembroke has seen her," said he, "and thought her charming."

"What? Where could he have seen her?"

"In a carriage with you driving fast along the Rochester road. It is
three or four days ago."

"Then I may tell you that I was taking her to Calais; I shall never see
her face again."

"Will you let the room again in the same way?"

"No, never again, though the god of love has been propitious to me. I
shall be glad to see you at my house whenever you like to come."

"Shall I send you a note to warn you?"

"Not at all."

We walked on talking about literature, manners, and so forth, in an
aimless way. All at once, as we approached Buckingham House, I saw five
or six persons, relieving nature amidst the bushes, with their hinder
parts facing the passers-by. I thought this a disgusting piece of
indecency, and said as much to Martinelli, adding that the impudent
rascals might at least turn their faces towards the path.

"Not at all," he exclaimed, "for then they might be recognized; whereas
in exposing their posteriors they run no such risk; besides the sight
makes squeamish persons turn away."

"You are right, but you will confess that the whole thing strikes a
stranger as very revolting."

"Yes, there is nothing so ineradicable as national prejudice. You may
have noticed that when an Englishman wants to ease his sluices in the
street, he doesn't run up an alley or turn to the wall like we do."

"Yes, I have noticed them turning towards the middle of the street, but
if they thus escape the notice of the people in the shops and on the
pavement they are seen by everybody who is driving in a carriage, and
that is as bad."

"The people in the carriages need not look."

"That is true."

We walked on to the Green Park, and met Lord Pembroke on horseback. He
stopped and burst into exclamations on seeing me. As I guessed the cause
of his surprise, I hastened to tell him that I was a free man once more,
to my sorrow, and felt lonely amidst my splendour.

"I feel rather curious about it, and perhaps I may come and keep you
company to-day."

We parted, and reckoning on seeing him at dinner I, went back to tell my
cook that dinner was to be served in the large room. Martinelli had an
engagement and could not come to dinner, but he led me out of the park by
a door with which I was not acquainted, and sent me on my way.

As we were going along we saw a crowd of people who seemed to be staring
at something. Martinelli went up to the crowd, and then returned to me,
saying,--

"That's a curious sight for you; you can enter it amidst your remarks on
English manners."

"What is it?"

"A man at the point of death from a blow he has received in boxing with
another sturdy fellow."

"Cannot anything be done?"

"There is a surgeon there who would bleed him, if he were allowed."

"Who could prevent him?"

"That's the curious part of it. Two men have betted on his death or
recovery. One says, 'I'll bet twenty guineas he dies,' and the other
says, 'Done.' Number one will not allow the surgeon to bleed him, for if
the man recovered his twenty guineas would be gone."

"Poor man! what pitiless betters!"

"The English are very strange in their betting proclivities; they bet
about everything. There is a Betting Club to which I will introduce you,
if you like."

"Do they speak French there?"

"Most certainly, for it is composed of men of wit and mark."

"What do they do?"

"They talk and argue, and if one man brings forward a proposition which
another denies, and one backs his opinion, the other has to bet too, on
pain of a fine which goes to the common fund."

"Introduce me to this delightful club, by all means; it will make my
fortune, for I shall always take care to be on the right side."

"You had better be careful; they are wary birds."

"But to return to the dying man; what will be done to his antagonist?"

"His hand will be examined, and if it is found to be just the same as
yours or mine it will be marked, and he will be let go."

"I don't understand that, so kindly explain. How do they recognize a
dangerous hand?"

"If it is found to be marked already, it is a proof that he has killed
his man before and has been marked for it, with the warning, 'Take care
not to kill anyone else, for if you do you will be hanged.'"

"But supposing such a man is attacked?"

"He ought to shew his hand, and then his adversary would let him alone."

"But if not?"

"Then he is defending himself; and if he kills his man he is acquitted,
provided he can bring witnesses to swear that he was obliged to fight."

"Since fighting with the fist may cause death, I wonder it is allowed."

"It is only allowed for a wager. If the combatants do not put one or more
pieces of money on the ground before the fight, and there is a death, the
man is hanged."

"What laws! What manners!"

In such ways I learnt much concerning the manner and customs of this
proud nation, at once so great and so little.

The noble lord came to dinner, and I treated him in a manner to make him
wish to come again. Although there were only the two of us, the meal
lasted a long time, as I was anxious for additional information on what I
had heard in the morning, especially on the Betting Club. The worthy
Pembroke advised me not to have anything to do with it, unless I made up
my mind to keep perfect silence for four or five weeks.

"But supposing they ask me a question?"

"Evade it."

"Certainly, if I am not in a position to give my opinion; but if I have
an opinion, the powers of Satan could not shut my mouth."

"All the worse for you."

"Are the members knaves?"

"Certainly not. They are noblemen, philosophers, and epicures; but they
are pitiless where a bet is concerned."

"Is the club treasury rich?"

"Far from it; they are all ashamed to pay a fine, and prefer to bet. Who
will introduce you?"

"Martinelli."

"Quite so; through Lord Spencer, who is a member. I would not become
one."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like argument."

"My taste runs the other way, so I shall try to get in."

"By the way, M. de Seingalt, do you know that you are a very
extraordinary man?"

"For what reason, my lord?"

"You shut yourself up for a whole month with a woman who spent fourteen
months in London without anybody making her acquaintance or even
discovering her nationality. All the amateurs have taken a lively
interest in the affair."

"How did you find out that she spent fourteen months in London?"

"Because several persons saw her in the house of a worthy widow where she
spent the first month. She would never have anything to say to any
advances, but the bill in your window worked wonders."

"Yes, and all the worse for me, for I feel as if I could never love
another woman."

"Oh, that's childish indeed! You will love another woman in a week-nay,
perhaps to-morrow, if you will come and dine with me at my country house.
A perfect French beauty has asked me to dine with her. I have told some
of my friends who are fond of gaming."

"Does the charming Frenchwoman like gaming?"

"No, but her husband does."

"What's his name?"

"He calls himself Count de Castelbajac."

"Ah! Castelbajac?"

"Yes."

"He is a Gascon?"

"Yes."

"Tall, thin, and dark, and marked with the smallpox?

"Exactly! I am delighted to find you know him. You will agree with me
that his wife is very pretty?"

"I really can't say. I knew Castelbajac, as he calls himself, six years
ago, and I never heard he was married. I shall be delighted to join you,
however. I must warn you not to say anything if he seems not to know me;
he may possibly have good reasons for acting in that manner. Before long
I will tell you a story which does not represent him in a very
advantageous manner. I did not know he played. I shall take care to be on
my guard at the Betting Club, and I advise you, my lord, to be on your
guard in the society of Castelbajac."

"I will not forget the warning."

When Pembroke had left me I went to see Madame Cornelis, who had written
a week before to tell me my daughter was ill, and explained that she had
been turned from my doors on two occasions though she felt certain I was
in. To this I replied that I was in love, and so happy within my own
house that I had excluded all strangers, and with that she had to be
contented, but the state in which I found little Sophie frightened me.
She was lying in bed with high fever, she had grown much thinner, and her
eyes seemed to say that she was dying of grief. Her mother was in
despair, for she was passionately fond of the child, and I thought she
would have torn my eyes out when I told her that if Sophie died she would
only have herself to reproach. Sophie, who was very good-hearted, cried
out, "No, no! papa dear;" and quieted her mother by her caresses.

Nevertheless, I took the mother aside, and told her that the disease was
solely caused by Sophie's dread of her severity.

"In spite of your affection," said I, "you treat her with insufferable
tyranny. Send her to a boarding-school for a couple of years, and let her
associate with girls of good family. Tell her this evening that she is to
go to school, and see if she does not get better."

"Yes," said she, "but a good boarding-school costs a hundred guineas a
year, including masters."

"If I approve of the school you select I will pay a year in advance."

On my making this offer the woman, who seemed to be living so
luxuriously, but was in reality poverty-stricken, embraced me with the
utmost gratitude.

"Come and tell the news to your daughter now," said she, "I should like
to watch her face when she hears it."

"Certainly."

"My dear Sophie," I said, "your mother agrees with me that if you had a
change of air you would get better, and if you would like to spend a year
or two in a good school I will pay the first year in advance."

"Of course, I will obey my dear mother," said Sophie.

"There is no question of obedience. Would you like to go to school? Tell
me truly."

"But would my mother like me to go?"

"Yes, my child, if it would please you."

"Then, mamma, I should like to go very much."

Her face flushed as she spoke, and I knew that my diagnosis had been
correct. I left her saying I should hope to hear from her soon.

At ten o'clock the next day Jarbe came to ask if I had forgotten my
engagement.

"No," said I, "but it is only ten o'clock."

"Yes, but we have twenty miles to go."

"Twenty miles?"

"Certainly, the house is at St. Albans."

"It's very strange Pembroke never told me; how did you find out the
address?"

"He left it when he went away:"

"Just like an Englishman."

I took a post-chaise, and in three hours I had reached my destination.
The English roads are excellent, and the country offers a smiling
prospect on every side. The vine is lacking, for though the English soil
is fertile it will not bear grapes.

Lord Pembroke's house was not a particularly large one, but twenty
masters and their servants could easily be accommodated in it.

The lady had not yet arrived, so my lord shewed me his gardens, his
fountains, and his magnificent hot-houses; also a cock chained by the
leg, and of a truly ferocious aspect.

"What have we here, my lord?"

"A cock."

"I see it is, but why do you chain it?"

"Because it is savage. It is very amorous, and if it were loose it would
go after the hens, and kill all the cocks on the country-side."

"But why do you condemn him to celibacy?"

"To make him fiercer. Here, this is the list of his conquests."

He gave me a list of his cock's victories, in which he had killed the
other bird; this had happened more than thirty times. He then shewed me
the steel spurs, at the sight of which the cock began to ruffle and crow.
I could not help laughing to see such a martial spirit in so small an
animal. He seemed possessed by the demon of strife, and lifted now one
foot and now the other, as if to beg that his arms might be put on.

Pembroke then exhibited the helmet, also of steel.

"But with such arms," said I, "he is sure of conquest."

"No; for when he is armed cap-a-pie he will not fight with a defenceless
cock."

"I can't believe it, my lord."

"It's a well-known fact. Here, read this."

He then gave me a piece of paper with this remarkable biped's pedigree.
He could prove his thirty-two quarters more easily than a good many
noblemen, on the father's side, be it understood, for if he could have
proved pure blood on the mother's side as well, Lord Pembroke would have
decorated him with the Order of the Golden Fleece at least.

"The bird cost me a hundred guineas," said he, "but I would not sell him
for a thousand."

"Has he any offspring?"

"He tries his best, but there are difficulties."

I do not remember whether Lord Pembroke explained what these difficulties
were. Certainly the English offer more peculiarities to the attentive
observer than any other nation.

At last a carriage containing a lady and two gentlemen drove up to the
door. One of the gentlemen was the rascally Castelbajac and the other was
introduced as Count Schwerin, nephew of the famous marshal of that name
who fell on what is commonly called the field of glory. General
Bekw---- an Englishman who was in the service of the King of Prussia, and
was one of Pembroke's guests, received Schwerin politely, saying that he
had seen his uncle die; at this the modest nephew drew the Order of the
Black Eagle from his breast, and shewed it to us all covered with blood.

"My uncle wore it on the day of his death, and the King of Prussia
allowed me to keep it as a noble memorial of my kinsman."

"Yes," said an Englishman who was present, "but the coat-pocket is not
the place for a thing like that."

Schwerin made as if he did not understand, and this enabled me to take
his measure.

Lord Pembroke took possession of the lady, whom I did not think worthy of
being compared to Pauline. She was paler and shorter, and utterly
deficient in Pauline's noble air; besides, when she smiled it spoiled her
face, and this is a defect in a woman, to whom laughter should always be
becoming.

Lord Pembroke introduced us all to each other, and when he came to me
Castelbajac said he was delighted to see me again, although he might
easily have pretended not to know me under my name of Seingalt.

We had a good English dinner, and afterwards the lady proposed a game of
faro. My lord never played, so the general consented to amuse the company
by holding the bank, and placed a hundred guineas and several bank notes
on the table. There might be a thousand guineas in all. He then gave
twenty counters to each punter, saying that every counter was worth ten
shillings. As I only staked gold against gold I would not accept them. By
the third deal Schwerin had lost his twenty counters and asked for twenty
more; but the banker told him he must pay for them, and the self-styled
field-marshal's nephew lapsed into silence and played no more.

At the following deal Castelbajac was in the same position as his friend,
and being on my side he begged to be allowed to take ten pieces.

"You will bring me ill-luck," I said, coldly, warding off his hand; and
he went out to the garden, no doubt to swallow the affront he had
received. The lady said her husband had forgotten his pocketbook. An hour
afterwards the game came to an end, and I took my leave, after inviting
Lord Pembroke and the rest of the company to dine with me the next day.

I got home at eleven o'clock without meeting any highwaymen as I had
expected, indeed I had put up six guineas in a small purse for their
special use and benefit. I woke up my cook to tell him that the next day
I should have twelve people to dinner, and that I hoped he would do me
honour. I found a letter from Madame Cornelis on my table telling me that
she and her daughter would drive with me on the following Sunday, and
that we could go and see the boarding-school she had selected.

Next day Lord Pembroke and the fair Frenchwoman were the first to arrive.
They drove in a carriage with two rather uncomfortable seats, but this
discomfort is favourable to love. The Gascon and the Prussian were the
last to come.

We sat down to table at two and left it at four, all of us well pleased
with the cook, and still more so with the wine merchant; for though we
had emptied forty bottles of wine, not one of us was at all intoxicated.

After coffee had been served the general invited us all to sup with him,
and Madame Castelbajac begged me to hold a bank. I did not wait to be
pressed but placed a thousand guineas on the table, and as I had no
counters of any kind I warned the company that I would only play gold
against gold, and that I should stop playing whenever I thought fit.

Before the game began the two counts paid their losses of the day before
to the general in bank notes, which he begged me to change. I also
changed two other notes presented to me by the same gentleman, and put
them all under my snuff-box. Play began. I had no croupier, so I was
obliged to deal slowly and keep an eye on the two counts, whose method of
play was very questionable. At last both of them were dried up, and
Castelbajac gave me a bill of exchange for two hundred guineas, begging
me to discount it for him.

"I know nothing about business," I replied.

An Englishman took the bill, and after a careful examination said he
neither knew the drawer, the accepter, nor the backer.

"I am the backer," said Castelbajac, "and that ought to be enough, I
think."

Everybody laughed, besides myself, and I gave it him back courteously,
saying politely that he could get it discounted on 'Change the next day.
He got up in a bad temper, and left the room, murmuring some insolent
expressions. Schwering followed him.

After these two worthy gentlemen had left us, I went on dealing till the
night was far advanced, and then left off, though I was at a loss.
However, the general had a run of luck, and I thought it best to stop.
Before leaving he took me and Lord Pembroke aside, and begged me to
contrive that the two knaves should not come to his house the following
day. "For," said he, "if that Gascon were to be half as insolent to me as
he was to you, I should shew him out by the window."

Pembroke said he would tell the lady of the general's wishes.

"Do you think," said I, "that those four notes of theirs can be
forgeries?"

"It's very possible."

"What would you advise my doing to clear the matter up?"

"I would send them to the bank."

"And if they should be forgeries?"

"I would have patience, or I would arrest the rascals."

The next day I went to the bank myself, and the person to whom I gave the
notes gave me them back, saying, coldly,--

"These notes are bad, sir."

"Be kind enough to examine them closely."

"It's no good, they are evident forgeries. Return them to the person from
whom you got them, and he will be only too glad to cash them."

I was perfectly aware that I could put the two knaves under lock and key,
but I did not want to do so. I went to Lord Pembroke to find out their
address, but he was still in bed, and one of his servants took me to
them. They were surprised to see me. I told them coolly enough that the
four notes were forged, and that I should feel much obliged if they would
give me forty guineas and take their notes back.

"I haven't got any money," said Castelbajac, "and what you say astonishes
me very much. I can only return them to the persons who gave them to me,
if the are really the same notes that we gave you yesterday."

At this suggestion the blood rushed to my face, and with a withering
glance and an indignant apostrophe I left them. Lord Pembroke's servant
took me to a magistrate who, having heard my statement on oath, gave me a
paper authorizing me to arrest two counts. I gave the document to an
alderman, who said he would see it was carried out, and I went home ill
pleased with the whole business.

Martinelli was waiting for me; he had come to ask me to give him a
dinner. I told him my story, without adding that the knaves were to be
arrested, and his advice delivered with philosophic calm was to make an
auto-da-fe of the four notes. It was very good advice, but I did not take
it.

The worthy Martinelli, thinking to oblige me, told me that he had
arranged with Lord Spencer the day on which I was to be introduced to the
club, but I answered that my fancy for going there was over. I ought to
have treated this learned and distinguished man with more politeness, but
who can sound human weakness to its depths? One often goes to a wise man
for advice which one has not the courage to follow.

In the evening I went to the general's, and found the self-styled
Countess Castelbajac seated on Lord Pembroke's knees. The supper was a
good one, and passed off pleasantly; the two rascals were not there, and
their absence was not remarked. When we left the table we went into
another room, and played till day-break. I left the board with a loss of
two or three hundred guineas.

I did not wake till late the next morning, and when I did my man told me
that a person wanted to speak to me. I had him shewn in, and as he only
spoke English the negro had to be our interpreter. He was the chief of
the police, and told me that if I would pay for the journey he would
arrest Castelbajac at Dover, for which town he had started at noon. As to
the other he was sure of having him in the course of the night. I gave
him a guinea, and told him it would be enough to catch the one, and that
the other could go where he liked.