An Unsocial Socialist

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AN UNSOCIAL SOCIALIST


by George Bernard Shaw




CHAPTER I

In the dusk of an October evening, a sensible looking woman of forty
came out through an oaken door to a broad landing on the first floor of
an old English country-house. A braid of her hair had fallen forward as
if she had been stooping over book or pen; and she stood for a moment
to smooth it, and to gaze contemplatively--not in the least
sentimentally--through the tall, narrow window. The sun was setting, but
its glories were at the other side of the house; for this window
looked eastward, where the landscape of sheepwalks and pasture land was
sobering at the approach of darkness.

The lady, like one to whom silence and quiet were luxuries, lingered
on the landing for some time. Then she turned towards another door, on
which was inscribed, in white letters, Class Room No. 6. Arrested by a
whispering above, she paused in the doorway, and looked up the stairs
along a broad smooth handrail that swept round in an unbroken curve at
each landing, forming an inclined plane from the top to the bottom of
the house.

A young voice, apparently mimicking someone, now came from above,
saying,

"We will take the Etudes de la Velocite next, if you please, ladies."

Immediately a girl in a holland dress shot down through space; whirled
round the curve with a fearless centrifugal toss of her ankle; and
vanished into the darkness beneath. She was followed by a stately girl
in green, intently holding her breath as she flew; and also by a large
young woman in black, with her lower lip grasped between her teeth, and
her fine brown eyes protruding with excitement. Her passage created a
miniature tempest which disarranged anew the hair of the lady on the
landing, who waited in breathless alarm until two light shocks and a
thump announced that the aerial voyagers had landed safely in the hall.

"Oh law!" exclaimed the voice that had spoken before. "Here's Susan."

"It's a mercy your neck ain't broken," replied some palpitating female.
"I'll tell of you this time, Miss Wylie; indeed I will. And you, too,
Miss Carpenter: I wonder at you not to have more sense at your age and
with your size! Miss Wilson can't help hearing when you come down with a
thump like that. You shake the whole house."

"Oh bother!" said Miss Wylie. "The Lady Abbess takes good care to shut
out all the noise we make. Let us--"

"Girls," said the lady above, calling down quietly, but with ominous
distinctness.

Silence and utter confusion ensued. Then came a reply, in a tone of
honeyed sweetness, from Miss Wylie:

"Did you call us, DEAR Miss Wilson?"

"Yes. Come up here, if you please, all three."

There was some hesitation among them, each offering the other
precedence. At last they went up slowly, in the order, though not at all
in the manner, of their flying descent; followed Miss Wilson into the
class-room; and stood in a row before her, illumined through three
western windows with a glow of ruddy orange light. Miss Carpenter, the
largest of the three, was red and confused. Her arms hung by her sides,
her fingers twisting the folds of her dress. Miss Gertrude Lindsay, in
pale sea-green, had a small head, delicate complexion, and pearly teeth.
She stood erect, with an expression of cold distaste for reproof of any
sort. The holland dress of the third offender had changed from yellow to
white as she passed from the gray eastern twilight on the staircase into
the warm western glow in the room. Her face had a bright olive tone, and
seemed to have a golden mica in its composition. Her eyes and hair were
hazel-nut color; and her teeth, the upper row of which she displayed
freely, were like fine Portland stone, and sloped outward enough to have
spoilt her mouth, had they not been supported by a rich under lip, and
a finely curved, impudent chin. Her half cajoling, half mocking air,
and her ready smile, were difficult to confront with severity; and Miss
Wilson knew it; for she would not look at her even when attracted by
a convulsive start and an angry side glance from Miss Lindsay, who had
just been indented between the ribs by a finger tip.

"You are aware that you have broken the rules," said Miss Wilson
quietly.

"We didn't intend to. We really did not," said the girl in holland,
coaxingly.

"Pray what was your intention then, Miss Wylie?"

Miss Wylie unexpectedly treated this as a smart repartee instead of a
rebuke. She sent up a strange little scream, which exploded in a cascade
of laughter.

"Pray be silent, Agatha," said Miss Wilson severely. Agatha looked
contrite. Miss Wilson turned hastily to the eldest of the three, and
continued:

"I am especially surprised at you, Miss Carpenter. Since you have no
desire to keep faith with me by upholding the rules, of which you are
quite old enough to understand the necessity, I shall not trouble you
with reproaches, or appeals to which I am now convinced that you would
not respond," (here Miss Carpenter, with an inarticulate protest, burst
into tears); "but you should at least think of the danger into which
your juniors are led by your childishness. How should you feel if Agatha
had broken her neck?"

"Oh!" exclaimed Agatha, putting her hand quickly to her neck.

"I didn't think there was any danger," said Miss Carpenter, struggling
with her tears. "Agatha has done it so oft--oh dear! you have torn me."
Miss Wylie had pulled at her schoolfellow's skirt, and pulled too hard.

"Miss Wylie," said Miss Wilson, flushing slightly, "I must ask you to
leave the room."

"Oh, no," exclaimed Agatha, clasping her hands in distress. "Please
don't, dear Miss Wilson. I am so sorry. I beg your pardon."

"Since you will not do what I ask, I must go myself," said Miss Wilson
sternly. "Come with me to my study," she added to the two other
girls. "If you attempt to follow, Miss Wylie, I shall regard it as an
intrusion."

"But I will go away if you wish it. I didn't mean to diso--"

"I shall not trouble you now. Come, girls."

The three went out; and Miss Wylie, left behind in disgrace, made a
surpassing grimace at Miss Lindsay, who glanced back at her. When she
was alone, her vivacity subsided. She went slowly to the window, and
gazed disparagingly at the landscape. Once, when a sound of voices above
reached her, her eyes brightened, and her ready lip moved; but the
next silent moment she relapsed into moody indifference, which was not
relieved until her two companions, looking very serious, re-entered.

"Well," she said gaily, "has moral force been applied? Are you going to
the Recording Angel?"

"Hush, Agatha," said Miss Carpenter. "You ought to be ashamed of
yourself."

"No, but you ought, you goose. A nice row you have got me into!"

"It was your own fault. You tore my dress."

"Yes, when you were blurting out that I sometimes slide down the
banisters."

"Oh!" said Miss Carpenter slowly, as if this reason had not occurred to
her before. "Was that why you pulled me?"

"Dear me! It has actually dawned upon you. You are a most awfully silly
girl, Jane. What did the Lady Abbess say?"

Miss Carpenter again gave her tears way, and could not reply.

"She is disgusted with us, and no wonder," said Miss Lindsay.

"She said it was all your fault," sobbed Miss Carpenter.

"Well, never mind, dear," said Agatha soothingly. "Put it in the
Recording Angel."

"I won't write a word in the Recording Angel unless you do so first,"
said Miss Lindsay angrily. "You are more in fault than we are."

"Certainly, my dear," replied Agatha. "A whole page, if you wish."

"I b-believe you LIKE writing in the Recording Angel," said Miss
Carpenter spitefully.

"Yes, Jane. It is the best fun the place affords."

"It may be fun to you," said Miss Lindsay sharply; "but it is not very
creditable to me, as Miss Wilson said just now, to take a prize in moral
science and then have to write down that I don't know how to behave
myself. Besides, I do not like to be told that I am ill-bred!"

Agatha laughed. "What a deep old thing she is! She knows all our
weaknesses, and stabs at us through them. Catch her telling me, or Jane
there, that we are ill-bred!"

"I don't understand you," said Miss Lindsay, haughtily.

"Of course not. That's because you don't know as much moral science as
I, though I never took a prize in it."

"You never took a prize in anything," said Miss Carpenter.

"And I hope I never shall," said Agatha. "I would as soon scramble for
hot pennies in the snow, like the street boys, as scramble to see who
can answer most questions. Dr. Watts is enough moral science for me. Now
for the Recording Angel."

She went to a shelf and took down a heavy quarto, bound in black
leather, and inscribed, in red letters, MY FAULTS. This she threw
irreverently on a desk, and tossed its pages over until she came to one
only partly covered with manuscript confessions.

"For a wonder," she said, "here are two entries that are not mine. Sarah
Gerram! What has she been confessing?"

"Don't read it," said Miss Lindsay quickly. "You know that it is the
most dishonorable thing any of us can do."

"Poch! Our little sins are not worth making such a fuss about. I always
like to have my entries read: it makes me feel like an author; and so in
Christian duty I always read other people's. Listen to poor Sarah's tale
of guilt. '1st October. I am very sorry that I slapped Miss Chambers in
the lavatory this morning, and knocked out one of her teeth. This was
very wicked; but it was coming out by itself; and she has forgiven me
because a new one will come in its place; and she was only pretending
when she said she swallowed it. Sarah Gerram."'

"Little fool!" said Miss Lindsay. "The idea of our having to record in
the same book with brats like that!"

"Here is a touching revelation. '4th October. Helen Plantagenet is
deeply grieved to have to confess that I took the first place in algebra
yesterday unfairly. Miss Lindsay prompted me;' and--"

"Oh!" exclaimed Miss Lindsay, reddening. "That is how she thanks me for
prompting her, is it? How dare she confess my faults in the Recording
Angel?"

"Serves you right for prompting her," said Miss Carpenter. "She was
always a double-faced cat; and you ought to have known better."

"Oh, I assure you it was not for her sake that I did it," replied Miss
Lindsay. "It was to prevent that Jackson girl from getting first place.
I don't like Helen Plantagenet; but at least she is a lady.'

"Stuff, Gertrude," said Agatha, with a touch of earnestness. "One would
think, to hear you talk, that your grandmother was a cook. Don't be such
a snob."

"Miss Wylie," said Gertrude, becoming scarlet: "you are very--oh! oh!
Stop Ag--oh! I will tell Miss--oh!" Agatha had inserted a steely finger
between her ribs, and was tickling her unendurably.

"Sh-sh-sh," whispered Miss Carpenter anxiously. "The door is open."

"Am I Miss Wylie?" demanded Agatha, relentlessly continuing the torture.
"Am I very--whatever you were going to say? Am I? am I? am I?"

"No, no," gasped Gertrude, shrinking into a chair, almost in hysterics.
"You are very unkind, Agatha. You have hurt me."

"You deserve it. If you ever get sulky with me again, or call me Miss
Wylie, I will kill you. I will tickle the soles of your feet with a
feather," (Miss Lindsay shuddered, and hid her feet beneath the chair)
"until your hair turns white. And now, if you are truly repentant, come
and record."

"You must record first. It was all your fault."

"But I am the youngest," said Agatha.

"Well, then," said Gertrude, afraid to press the point, but determined
not to record first, "let Jane Carpenter begin. She is the eldest."

"Oh, of course," said Jane, with whimpering irony. "Let Jane do all the
nasty things first. I think it's very hard. You fancy that Jane is a
fool; but she isn't."

"You are certainly not such a fool as you look, Jane," said Agatha
gravely. "But I will record first, if you like."

"No, you shan't," cried Jane, snatching the pen from her. "I arm the
eldest; and I won't be put out of my place."

She dipped the pen in the ink resolutely, and prepared to write.
Then she paused; considered; looked bewildered; and at last appealed
piteously to Agatha.

"What shall I write?" she said. "You know how to write things down; and
I don't."

"First put the date," said Agatha.

"To be sure," said Jane, writing it quickly. "I forgot that. Well?"

"Now write, 'I am very sorry that Miss Wilson saw me when I slid down
the banisters this evening. Jane Carpenter.'"

"Is that all?"

"That's all: unless you wish to add something of your own composition."

"I hope it's all right," said Jane, looking suspiciously at Agatha.
"However, there can't be any harm in it; for it's the simple truth.
Anyhow, if you are playing one of your jokes on me, you are a nasty mean
thing, and I don't care. Now, Gertrude, it's your turn. Please look at
mine, and see whether the spelling is right."

"It is not my business to teach you to spell," said Gertrude, taking the
pen. And, while Jane was murmuring at her churlishness, she wrote in a
bold hand:

"I have broken the rules by sliding down the banisters to-day with Miss
Carpenter and Miss Wylie. Miss Wylie went first."

"You wretch!" exclaimed Agatha, reading over her shoulder. "And your
father is an admiral!"

"I think it is only fair," said Miss Lindsay, quailing, but assuming the
tone of a moralist. "It is perfectly true."

"All my money was made in trade," said Agatha; "but I should be ashamed
to save myself by shifting blame to your aristocratic shoulders. You
pitiful thing! Here: give me the pen."

"I will strike it out if you wish; but I think--"

"No: it shall stay there to witness against you. How see how I confess
my faults." And she wrote, in a fine, rapid hand:

"This evening Gertrude Lindsay and Jane Carpenter met me at the top of
the stairs, and said they wanted to slide down the banisters and would
do it if I went first. I told them that it was against the rules,
but they said that did not matter; and as they are older than I am, I
allowed myself to be persuaded, and did."

"What do you think of that?" said Agatha, displaying the page.

They read it, and protested clamorously.

"It is perfectly true," said Agatha, solemnly.

"It's beastly mean," said Jane energetically. "The idea of your finding
fault with Gertrude, and then going and being twice as bad yourself! I
never heard of such a thing in my life."

"'Thus bad begins; but worse remains behind,' as the Standard
Elocutionist says," said Agatha, adding another sentence to her
confession.

"But it was all my fault. Also I was rude to Miss Wilson, and refused
to leave the room when she bade me. I was not wilfully wrong except in
sliding down the banisters. I am so fond of a slide that I could not
resist the temptation."

"Be warned by me, Agatha," said Jane impressively. "If you write cheeky
things in that book, you will be expelled."

"Indeed!" replied Agatha significantly. "Wait until Miss Wilson sees
what you have written."

"Gertrude," cried Jane, with sudden misgiving, "has she made me write
anything improper? Agatha, do tell me if--"

Here a gong sounded; and the three girls simultaneously exclaimed
"Grub!" and rushed from the room.



CHAPTER II

One sunny afternoon, a hansom drove at great speed along Belsize Avenue,
St. John's Wood, and stopped before a large mansion. A young lady sprang
out; ran up the steps, and rang the bell impatiently. She was of the
olive complexion, with a sharp profile: dark eyes with long lashes;
narrow mouth with delicately sensuous lips; small head, feet, and hands,
with long taper fingers; lithe and very slender figure moving with
serpent-like grace. Oriental taste was displayed in the colors of her
costume, which consisted of a white dress, close-fitting, and printed
with an elaborate china blue pattern; a yellow straw hat covered with
artificial hawthorn and scarlet berries; and tan-colored gloves reaching
beyond the elbow, and decorated with a profusion of gold bangles.

The door not being opened immediately, she rang again, violently, and
w as presently admitted by a maid, who seemed surprised to see her.
Without making any inquiry, she darted upstairs into a drawing-room,
where a matron of good presence, with features of the finest Jewish
type, sat reading. With her was a handsome boy in black velvet, who
said:

"Mamma, here's Henrietta!"

"Arthur," said the young lady excitedly, "leave the room this instant;
and don't dare to come back until you get leave."

The boy's countenance fell, and he sulkily went out without a word.

"Is anything wrong?" said the matron, putting away her book with the
unconcerned resignation of an experienced person who foresees a storm in
a teacup. "Where is Sidney?"

"Gone! Gone! Deserted me! I--" The young lady's utterance failed, and
she threw herself upon an ottoman, sobbing with passionate spite.

"Nonsense! I thought Sidney had more sense. There, Henrietta, don't be
silly. I suppose you have quarrelled."

"No! No!! No!!!" cried Henrietta, stamping on the carpet. "We had not a
word. I have not lost my temper since we were married, mamma; I solemnly
swear I have not. I will kill myself; there is no other way. There's a
curse on me. I am marked out to be miserable. He--"

"Tut, tut! What has happened, Henrietta? As you have been married now
nearly six weeks, you can hardly be surprised at a little tiff arising.
You are so excitable! You cannot expect the sky to be always cloudless.
Most likely you are to blame; for Sidney is far more reasonable than
you. Stop crying, and behave like a woman of sense, and I will go to
Sidney and make everything right."

"But he's gone, and I can't find out where. Oh, what shall I do?"

"What has happened?"

Henrietta writhed with impatience. Then, forcing herself to tell her
story, she answered:

"We arranged on Monday that I should spend two days with Aunt Judith
instead of going with him to Birmingham to that horrid Trade Congress.
We parted on the best of terms. He couldn't have been more affectionate.
I will kill myself; I don't care about anything or anybody. And when
I came back on Wednesday he was gone, and there was this letter." She
produced a letter, and wept more bitterly than before.

"Let me see it."

Henrietta hesitated, but her mother took the letter from her, sat down
near the window, and composed herself to read without the least regard
to her daughter's vehement distress. The letter ran thus:

"Monday night.

"My Dearest: I am off--surfeited with endearment--to live my own life
and do my own work. I could only have prepared you for this by coldness
or neglect, which are wholly impossible to me when the spell of your
presence is upon me. I find that I must fly if I am to save myself.

"I am afraid that I cannot give you satisfactory and intelligible
reasons for this step. You are a beautiful and luxurious creature: life
is to you full and complete only when it is a carnival of love. My case
is just the reverse. Before three soft speeches have escaped me I rebuke
myself for folly and insincerity. Before a caress has had time to cool,
a strenuous revulsion seizes me: I long to return to my old lonely
ascetic hermit life; to my dry books; my Socialist propagandism; my
voyage of discovery through the wilderness of thought. I married in an
insane fit of belief that I had a share of the natural affection
which carries other men through lifetimes of matrimony. Already I am
undeceived. You are to me the loveliest woman in the world. Well, for
five weeks I have walked and tallied and dallied with the loveliest
woman in the world, and the upshot is that I am flying from her, and am
for a hermit's cave until I die. Love cannot keep possession of me: all
my strongest powers rise up against it and will not endure it. Forgive
me for writing nonsense that you won't understand, and do not think too
hardly of me. I have been as good to you as my selfish nature allowed.
Do not seek to disturb me in the obscurity which I desire and deserve.
My solicitor will call on your father to arrange business matters, and
you shall be as happy as wealth and liberty can make you. We shall meet
again--some day.

"Adieu, my last love,

"Sidney Trefusis."

"Well?" cried Mrs. Trefusis, observing through her tears that her mother
had read the letter and was contemplating it in a daze.

"Well, certainly!" said Mrs. Jansenius, with emphasis. "Do you think
he is quite sane, Henrietta? Or have you been plaguing him for too much
attention? Men are not willing to give up their whole existence to their
wives, even during the honeymoon."

"He pretended that he was never happy out of my presence," sobbed
Henrietta. "There never was anything so cruel. I often wanted to be by
myself for a change, but I was afraid to hurt his feelings by saying
so. And now he has no feelings. But he must come back to me. Mustn't he,
mamma?"

"He ought to. I suppose he has not gone away with anyone?"

Henrietta sprang up, her cheeks vivid scarlet. "If I thought that I
would pursue him to the end of the earth, and murder her. But no; he is
not like anybody else. He hates me! Everybody hates me! You don't care
whether I am deserted or not, nor papa, nor anyone in this house."

Mrs. Jansenius, still indifferent to her daughter's agitation,
considered a moment, and then said placidly:

"You can do nothing until we hear from the solicitor. In the meantime
you may stay with us, if you wish. I did not expect a visit from you so
soon; but your room has not been used since you went away."

Mrs. Trefusis ceased crying, chilled by this first intimation that her
father's house was no longer her home. A more real sense of desolation
came upon her. Under its cold influence she began to collect herself,
and to feel her pride rising like a barrier between her and her mother.

"I won't stay long," she said. "If his solicitor will not tell me where
he is, I will hunt through England for him. I am sorry to trouble you."

"Oh, you will be no greater trouble than you have always been," said
Mrs. Jansenius calmly, not displeased to see that her daughter had taken
the hint. "You had better go and wash your face. People may call, and
I presume you don't wish to receive them in that plight. If you meet
Arthur on the stairs, please tell him he may come in."

Henrietta screwed her lips into a curious pout and withdrew. Arthur then
came in and stood at the window in sullen silence, brooding over his
recent expulsion. Suddenly he exclaimed: "Here's papa, and it's not five
o'clock yet!" whereupon his mother sent him away again.

Mr. Jansenius was a man of imposing presence, not yet in his fiftieth
year, but not far from it. He moved with dignity, bearing himself as if
the contents of his massive brow were precious. His handsome aquiline
nose and keen dark eyes proclaimed his Jewish origin, of which he was
ashamed. Those who did not know this naturally believed that he was
proud of it, and were at a loss to account for his permitting his
children to be educated as Christians. Well instructed in business,
and subject to no emotion outside the love of family, respectability,
comfort, and money, he had maintained the capital inherited from his
father, and made it breed new capital in the usual way. He was a banker,
and his object as such was to intercept and appropriate the immense
saving which the banking system effects, and so, as far as possible, to
leave the rest of the world working just as hard as before banking was
introduced. But as the world would not on these terms have banked at
all, he had to give them some of the saving as an inducement. So they
profited by the saving as well as he, and he had the satisfaction
of being at once a wealthy citizen and a public benefactor, rich in
comforts and easy in conscience.

He entered the room quickly, and his wife saw that something had vexed
him.

"Do you know what has happened, Ruth?" he said.

"Yes. She is upstairs."

Mr. Jansenius stared. "Do you mean to say that she has left already?" he
said. "What business has she to come here?"

"It is natural enough. Where else should she have gone?"

Mr. Jansenius, who mistrusted his own judgment when it differed from
that of his wife, replied slowly, "Why did she not go to her mother?"

Mrs. Jansenius, puzzled in her turn, looked at him with cool wonder, and
remarked, "I am her mother, am I not?"

"I was not aware of it. I am surprised to hear it, Ruth. Have you had a
letter too. I have seen the letter. But what do you mean by telling
me that you do not know I am Henrietta's mother? Are you trying to be
funny?"

"Henrietta! Is she here? Is this some fresh trouble?"

"I don't know. What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about Agatha Wylie."

"Oh! I was talking about Henrietta."

"Well, what about Henrietta?"

"What about Agatha Wylie?"

At this Mr. Jansenius became exasperated, and he deemed it best to
relate what Henrietta had told her. When she gave him Trefusis's letter,
he said, more calmly: "Misfortunes never come singly. Read that," and
handed her another letter, so that they both began reading at the same
time.