From Sand Hill to Pine

B >> Bret Harte >> From Sand Hill to Pine


"I did you a great injustice," he said, with a smile.

"I don't understand you," she replied a little coldly.

"Why, this woman and her marriage," he said; "you must have known
something of it all the time, and perhaps helped it along to save
Chris."

"You are mistaken," returned Miss Trotter truthfully. "I knew nothing of
Mr. Bilson's intentions."

"Then I have wronged you still more," he said briskly, "for I thought at
first that you were inclined to help Chris in his foolishness. Now I see
it was your persuasions that changed him."

"Let me tell you once for all, Mr. Calton," she returned with an
impulsive heat which she regretted, "that I did not interfere in any way
with your brother's suit. He spoke to me of it, and I promised to see
Frida, but he afterwards asked me not to. I know nothing of the matter."

"Well," laughed Mr. Calton, "WHATEVER you did, it was most efficacious,
and you did it so graciously and tactfully that it has not altered
his high opinion of you, if, indeed, he hasn't really transferred his
affections to you."

Luckily Miss Trotter had her face turned from him at the beginning of
the sentence, or he would have noticed the quick flush that suddenly
came to her cheek and eyes. Yet for an instant this calm, collected
woman trembled, not at what Mr. Calton might have noticed, but at what
SHE had noticed in HERSELF. Mr. Calton, construing her silence and
averted head into some resentment of his familiar speech, continued
hurriedly:--

"I mean, don't you see, that I believe no other woman could have
influenced my brother as you have."

"You mean, I think, that he has taken his broken heart very lightly,"
said Miss Trotter, with a bitter little laugh, so unlike herself that
Mr. Calton was quite concerned at it.

"No," he said gravely. "I can't say THAT! He's regularly cut up, you
know! And changed; you'd hardly know him. More like a gloomy crank than
the easy fool he used to be," he went on, with brotherly directness. "It
wouldn't be a bad thing, you know, if you could manage to see him, Miss
Trotter! In fact, as he's off his feed, and has some trouble with his
arm again, owing to all this, I reckon, I've been thinking of advising
him to come up to the hotel once more till he's better. So long as SHE'S
gone it would be all right, you know!"

By this time Miss Trotter was herself again. She reasoned, or thought
she did, that this was a question of the business of the hotel, and
it was clearly her duty to assent to Chris's coming. The strange yet
pleasurable timidity which possessed her at the thought she ignored
completely.

He came the next day. Luckily, she was so much shocked by the change in
his appearance that it left no room for any other embarrassment in the
meeting. His face had lost its fresh color and round outline; the lines
of his mouth were drawn with pain and accented by his drooping mustache;
his eyes, which had sought hers with a singular seriousness, no longer
wore the look of sympathetic appeal which had once so exasperated her,
but were filled with an older experience. Indeed, he seemed to have
approximated so near to her own age that, by one of those paradoxes of
the emotions, she felt herself much younger, and in smile and eye showed
it; at which he colored faintly. But she kept her sympathy and inquiries
limited to his physical health, and made no allusion to his past
experiences; indeed, ignoring any connection between the two. He had
been shockingly careless in his convalescence, had had a relapse in
consequence, and deserved a good scolding! His relapse was a reflection
upon the efficacy of the hotel as a perfect cure! She should treat him
more severely now, and allow him no indulgences! I do not know that
Miss Trotter intended anything covert, but their eyes met and he colored
again. Ignoring this also, and promising to look after him occasionally,
she quietly withdrew.

But about this time it was noticed that a change took place in Miss
Trotter. Always scrupulously correct, and even severe in her dress, she
allowed herself certain privileges of color, style, and material. She,
who had always affected dark shades and stiff white cuffs and collars,
came out in delicate tints and laces, which lent a brilliancy to her
dark eyes and short crisp black curls, slightly tinged with gray.
One warm summer evening she startled every one by appearing in white,
possibly a reminiscence of her youth at the Vermont academy. The
masculine guests thought it pretty and attractive; even the women
forgave her what they believed a natural expression of her prosperity
and new condition, but regretted a taste so inconsistent with her age.
For all that, Miss Trotter had never looked so charming, and the faint
autumnal glow in her face made no one regret her passing summer.

One evening she found Chris so much better that he was sitting on
the balcony, but still so depressed that she was compelled so far to
overcome the singular timidity she had felt in his presence as to ask
him to come into her own little drawing-room, ostensibly to avoid the
cool night air. It was the former "card-room" of the hotel, but now
fitted with feminine taste and prettiness. She arranged a seat for him
on the sofa, which he took with a certain brusque boyish surliness, the
last vestige of his youth.

"It's very kind of you to invite me in here," he began bitterly, "when
you are so run after by every one, and to leave Judge Fletcher just
now to talk to me, but I suppose you are simply pitying me for being a
fool!"

"I thought you were imprudent in exposing yourself to the night air on
the balcony, and I think Judge Fletcher is old enough to take care of
himself," she returned, with the faintest touch of coquetry, and a smile
which was quite as much an amused recognition of that quality in herself
as anything else.

"And I'm a baby who can't," he said angrily. After a pause he burst out
abruptly: "Miss Trotter, will you answer me one question?"

"Go on," she said smilingly.

"Did you know--that--woman was engaged to Bilson when I spoke to you in
the wood?"

"No!" she answered quickly, but without the sharp resentment she had
shown at his brother's suggestion. "I only knew it when Mr. Bilson told
me the same evening."

"And I only knew it when news came of their marriage," he said bitterly.

"But you must have suspected something when you saw them together in the
wood," she responded.

"When I saw them together in the wood?" he repeated dazedly.

Miss Trotter was startled, and stopped short. Was it possible he had not
seen them together? She was shocked that she had spoken; but it was too
late to withdraw her words. "Yes," she went on hurriedly, "I thought
that was why you came back to say that I was not to speak to her."

He looked at her fixedly, and said slowly: "You thought that? Well,
listen to me. I saw NO ONE! I knew nothing of this! I suspected nothing!
I returned before I had reached the wood--because--because--I had
changed my mind!"

"Changed your mind!" she repeated wonderingly.

"Yes! Changed my mind! I couldn't stand it any longer! I did not love
the girl--I never loved her--I was sick of my folly. Sick of deceiving
you and myself any longer. Now you know why I didn't go into the wood,
and why I didn't care where she was nor who was with her!"

"I don't understand," she said, lifting her clear eyes to his coldly.

"Of course you don't," he said bitterly. "I didn't understand myself!
And when you do understand you will hate and despise me--if you do not
laugh at me for a conceited fool! Hear me out, Miss Trotter, for I am
speaking the truth to you now, if I never spoke it before. I never asked
the girl to marry me! I never said to HER half what I told to YOU, and
when I asked you to intercede with her, I never wanted you to do it--and
never expected you would."

"May I ask WHY you did it then?" said Miss Trotter, with an acerbity
which she put on to hide a vague, tantalizing consciousness.

"You would not believe me if I told you, and you would hate me if you
did." He stopped, and, locking his fingers together, threw his hands
over the back of the sofa and leaned toward her. "You never liked me,
Miss Trotter," he said more quietly; "not from the first! From the day
that I was brought to the hotel, when you came to see me, I could see
that you looked upon me as a foolish, petted boy. When I tried to catch
your eye, you looked at the doctor, and took your speech from him. And
yet I thought I had never seen a woman so great and perfect as you were,
and whose sympathy I longed so much to have. You may not believe me, but
I thought you were a queen, for you were the first lady I had ever seen,
and you were so different from the other girls I knew, or the women who
had been kind to me. You may laugh, but it's the truth I'm telling you,
Miss Trotter!"

He had relapsed completely into his old pleading, boyish way--it had
struck her even as he had pleaded to her for Frida!

"I knew you didn't like me that day you came to change the bandages.
Although every touch of your hands seemed to ease my pain, you did it so
coldly and precisely; and although I longed to keep you there with me,
you scarcely waited to take my thanks, but left me as if you had
only done your duty to a stranger. And worst of all," he went on more
bitterly, "the doctor knew it too--guessed how I felt toward you, and
laughed at me for my hopelessness! That made me desperate, and put me up
to act the fool. I did! Yes, Miss Trotter; I thought it mighty clever
to appear to be in love with Frida, and to get him to ask to have her
attend me regularly. And when you simply consented, without a word or
thought about it and me, I knew I was nothing to you."

Miss Trotter felt a sudden thrill. The recollection of Dr. Duchesne's
strange scrutiny of her, of her own mistake, which she now knew might
have been the truth--flashed across her confused consciousness in swift
corroboration of his words. It was a DOUBLE revelation to her; for what
else was the meaning of this subtle, insidious, benumbing sweetness that
was now creeping over her sense and spirit and holding her fast. She
felt she ought to listen no longer--to speak--to say something--to get
up--to turn and confront him coldly--but she was powerless. Her reason
told her that she had been the victim of a trick--that having deceived
her once, he might be doing so again; but she could not break the spell
that was upon her, nor did she want to. She must know the culmination of
this confession, whose preamble thrilled her so strangely.

"The girl was kind and sympathetic," he went on, "but I was not so great
a fool as not to know that she was a flirt and accustomed to attention.
I suppose it was in my desperation that I told my brother, thinking he
would tell you, as he did. He would not tell me what you said to him,
except that you seemed to be indignant at the thought that I was only
flirting with Frida. Then I resolved to speak with you myself--and I
did. I know it was a stupid, clumsy contrivance. It never seemed so
stupid before I spoke to you. It never seemed so wicked as when you
promised to help me, and your eyes shone on me for the first time with
kindness. And it never seemed so hopeless as when I found you touched
with my love for another. You wonder why I kept up this deceit until you
promised. Well, I had prepared the bitter cup myself--I thought I ought
to drink it to the dregs."

She turned quietly, passionately, and, standing up, faced him with a
little cry. "Why are you telling me this NOW?"

He rose too, and catching her hands in his, said, with a white face,
"Because I love you."

*****

Half an hour later, when the under-housekeeper was summoned to receive
Miss Trotter's orders, she found that lady quietly writing at the table.
Among the orders she received was the notification that Mr. Calton's
rooms would be vacated the next day. When the servant, who, like most of
her class, was devoted to the good-natured, good-looking, liberal Chris,
asked with some concern if the young gentleman was no better, Miss
Trotter, with equal placidity, answered that it was his intention to put
himself under the care of a specialist in San Francisco, and that
she, Miss Trotter, fully approved of his course. She finished her
letter,--the servant noticed that it was addressed to Mr. Bilson at
Paris,--and, handing it to her, bade that it should be given to a groom,
with orders to ride over to the Summit post-office at once to catch the
last post. As the housekeeper turned to go, she again referred to the
departing guest. "It seems such a pity, ma'am, that Mr. Calton couldn't
stay, as he always said you did him so much good." Miss Trotter smiled
affably. But when the door closed she gave a hysterical little laugh,
and then, dropping her handsome gray-streaked head in her slim hands,
cried like a girl--or, indeed, as she had never cried when a girl.

When the news of Mr. Calton's departure became known the next day, some
lady guests regretted the loss of this most eligible young bachelor.
Miss Trotter agreed with them, with the consoling suggestion that he
might return for a day or two. He did return for a day; it was thought
that the change to San Francisco had greatly benefited him, though some
believed he would be an invalid all his life.

Meantime Miss Trotter attended regularly to her duties, with the
difference, perhaps, that she became daily more socially popular and
perhaps less severe in her reception of the attentions of the masculine
guests. It was finally whispered that the great Judge Boompointer was a
serious rival of Judge Fletcher for her hand. When, three months later,
some excitement was caused by the intelligence that Mr. Bilson was
returning to take charge of his hotel, owing to the resignation of Miss
Trotter, who needed a complete change, everybody knew what that meant.
A few were ready to name the day when she would become Mrs. Boompointer;
others had seen the engagement ring of Judge Fletcher on her slim
finger.

Nevertheless Miss Trotter married neither, and by the time Mr. and Mrs.
Bilson had returned she had taken her holiday, and the Summit House knew
her no more.

Three years later, and at a foreign Spa, thousands of miles distant from
the scene of her former triumphs, Miss Trotter reappeared as a handsome,
stately, gray-haired stranger, whose aristocratic bearing deeply
impressed a few of her own countrymen who witnessed her arrival, and
believed her to be a grand duchess at the least. They were still
more convinced of her superiority when they saw her welcomed by the
well-known Baroness X., and afterwards engaged in a very confidential
conversation with that lady. But they would have been still more
surprised had they known the tenor of that conversation.

"I am afraid you will find the Spa very empty just now," said the
baroness critically. "But there are a few of your compatriots here,
however, and they are always amusing. You see that somewhat faded blonde
sitting quite alone in that arbor? That is her position day after day,
while her husband openly flirts or is flirted with by half the women
here. Quite the opposite experience one has of American women, where
it's all the other way, is it not? And there is an odd story about her
which may account for, if it does not excuse, her husband's neglect.
They're very rich, but they say she was originally a mere servant in a
hotel."

"You forget that I told you I was once only a housekeeper in one," said
Miss Trotter, smiling.

"Nonsense. I mean that this woman was a mere peasant, and frightfully
ignorant at that!"

Miss Trotter put up her eyeglass, and, after a moment's scrutiny,
said gently, "I think you are a little severe. I know her; it's a Mrs.
Bilson."

"No, my dear. You are quite wrong. That was the name of her FIRST
husband. I am told she was a widow who married again--quite a
fascinating young man, and evidently her superior--that is what is so
funny. She is a Mrs. Calton--'Mrs. Chris Calton,' as she calls herself."

"Is her husband--Mr. Calton--here?" said Miss Trotter after a pause, in
a still gentler voice.

"Naturally not. He has gone on an excursion with a party of ladies to
the Schwartzberg. He returns to-morrow. You will find HER very stupid,
but HE is very jolly, though a little spoiled by women. Why do we always
spoil them?"

Miss Trotter smiled, and presently turned the subject. But the baroness
was greatly disappointed to find the next day that an unexpected
telegram had obliged Miss Trotter to leave the Spa without meeting the
Caltons.